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01-13-2006, 11:41 AM
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#1 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The alpine of the Rockies
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Chuck Norris Facts
Saw this on another forum and thought it was rather amusing...
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Rich |
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01-13-2006, 11:41 AM
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#2 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The alpine of the Rockies
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a
 ing Indian.
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Rich |
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01-13-2006, 11:43 AM
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#3 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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Rich |
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01-13-2006, 11:55 AM
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#4 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The alpine of the Rockies
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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01-13-2006, 11:55 AM
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#5 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The alpine of the Rockies
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice
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Rich |
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01-13-2006, 12:01 PM
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Head Greenskeeper
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 16,671
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It would be best to just make one post listing them all.
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01-13-2006, 12:03 PM
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#7 |
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Forever stuck between single digit and trunk slammer!
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Dan, he is just trying to catch up to us front runners in total post race!
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"A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08 |
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01-13-2006, 12:18 PM
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Sand Wedge
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: almonte
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Isn't he like 100 years old?
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01-13-2006, 01:28 PM
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The alpine of the Rockies
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 Quote:
Actually I was just trying to get the ball rolling, to see what people could come up with.And yes Dan I could have made one post, but where's the fun in that?
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Rich |
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01-13-2006, 05:41 PM
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Competitor
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ottawa
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC for infringing on his patented names for his left and right legs, Law and Order...
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01-14-2006, 03:50 AM
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Amateur
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ottawa
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Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
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01-14-2006, 11:56 AM
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#12 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The alpine of the Rockies
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Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
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Rich |
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01-16-2006, 09:21 AM
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
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Rich |
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01-16-2006, 12:01 PM
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Moderator
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Man, you have WAY too much time on your hands. Rather funny though, my favourite is still the Law & Order one.
  How about this, with his time machine Chuck went back in time and it was he, not Noah, who built the ark and brought along two of every species.
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"A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08 |
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01-16-2006, 12:46 PM
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Seeing as how I enjoyed my first steak on the bbq for the year this past friday...
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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01-16-2006, 02:08 PM
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Moderator
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Chuck Norris once walked into a room and beat up Rambo, Rocky and the Terminator all at the same time and then proceeded to put on a red headband and scream "Adrian, I'll be back!"
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"A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08 Last edited by Big Johnny69; 01-16-2006 at 02:31 PM. |
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01-16-2006, 02:14 PM
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Caddy
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Quote:
Good one!
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Rich |
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01-16-2006, 02:17 PM
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#18 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the
probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Rich |
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01-16-2006, 02:34 PM
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Moderator
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Chuck Norris got Wesley Snipes to appear in the Total Gym infomercial because he bet him he could eat three 72oz steaks in a hour after having sex with his waitress for the first 45 mins.
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"A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08 |
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01-16-2006, 02:40 PM
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#20 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property
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Rich |
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01-16-2006, 02:47 PM
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Moderator
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Chuck Norris demanded his show be called "Walker, Texas Ranger" because "Bob, Deputy Sheriff" just didn't sound manly enough to him.
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"A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08 |
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01-16-2006, 03:17 PM
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#22 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
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Rich |
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01-16-2006, 03:19 PM
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#23 |
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Moderator
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Did Chuck Norris not invent the wheel and sliced bread?
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"A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08 |
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01-16-2006, 03:22 PM
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#24 |
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Hall of Fame
Join Date: Jun 2001
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just go here:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ Personally, I like: Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the *#$% down.
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I'd give up beer, but I'm no quitter. |
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01-16-2006, 03:33 PM
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#25 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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 Figured. Was worth the try though Thought it was borderline.
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Rich |
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01-16-2006, 03:42 PM
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#26 | |
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Moderator
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Quote:
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"A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08 |
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01-16-2006, 03:53 PM
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#27 | |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The alpine of the Rockies
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Quote:
 The columbia shuttle burned up on re-entry because nasa dared to try new heat-tiles made of silica fiber instead of chuck's beard trimmings.
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Rich |
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01-16-2006, 04:07 PM
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#28 |
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Moderator
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Chuck Norrris' roundhouse kick is the reason the Leaning Tower of Pisa is tilted!
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"A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08 |
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01-16-2006, 03:39 PM
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#29 |
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Head Greenskeeper
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Ottawa
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Think PG please.
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01-16-2006, 04:14 PM
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#30 |
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Caddy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: The alpine of the Rockies
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Chuck Norris can eat only one Lays potato chip
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