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  1. 01-13-2006 11:41 AM #1
    Law
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    Chuck Norris Facts

    Saw this on another forum and thought it was rather amusing...

    The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
    Rich





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  2. 01-13-2006 11:41 AM #2
    Law
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    Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ing Indian.
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  3. 01-13-2006 11:43 AM #3
    Law
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    Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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  4. 01-13-2006 11:55 AM #4
    Law
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    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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  5. 01-13-2006 11:55 AM #5
    Law
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    Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice
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  6. 01-13-2006 12:01 PM #6
    Kilroy
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    It would be best to just make one post listing them all.
    Thanks.
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  7. 01-13-2006 12:03 PM #7
    Big Johnny69
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    Dan, he is just trying to catch up to us front runners in total post race!
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  8. 01-13-2006 12:18 PM #8
    Rando
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    Isn't he like 100 years old?
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  9. 01-13-2006 01:28 PM #9
    Law
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff Johnston
    Dan, he is just trying to catch up to us front runners in total post race!
    Actually I was just trying to get the ball rolling, to see what people could come up with.

    And yes Dan I could have made one post, but where's the fun in that?
    Rich





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  10. 01-13-2006 05:41 PM #10
    sensfan63
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    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC for infringing on his patented names for his left and right legs, Law and Order...
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  11. 01-14-2006 03:50 AM #11
    Golfpeasant
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    Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
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  12. 01-14-2006 11:56 AM #12
    Law
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    Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
    Rich





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  13. 01-16-2006 09:21 AM #13
    Law
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    Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
    Rich





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  14. 01-16-2006 12:01 PM #14
    Big Johnny69
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    Man, you have WAY too much time on your hands. Rather funny though, my favourite is still the Law & Order one.

    How about this, with his time machine Chuck went back in time and it was he, not Noah, who built the ark and brought along two of every species.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  15. 01-16-2006 12:46 PM #15
    Law
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    Seeing as how I enjoyed my first steak on the bbq for the year this past friday...

    Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
    Rich





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  16. 01-16-2006 02:08 PM #16
    Big Johnny69
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    Chuck Norris once walked into a room and beat up Rambo, Rocky and the Terminator all at the same time and then proceeded to put on a red headband and scream "Adrian, I'll be back!"
    Last edited by Big Johnny69; 01-16-2006 at 02:31 PM.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  17. 01-16-2006 02:14 PM #17
    Law
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff Johnston
    Chuck Norris once walked into a room and beat Rambo, Rocky and the Terminator all at the same time and then proceeded to put on a red headband and scream "Adrian, I'll be back!"
    Good one!
    Rich





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  18. 01-16-2006 02:17 PM #18
    Law
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    Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the
    probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
    Rich





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  19. 01-16-2006 02:34 PM #19
    Big Johnny69
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    Chuck Norris got Wesley Snipes to appear in the Total Gym infomercial because he bet him he could eat three 72oz steaks in a hour after having sex with his waitress for the first 45 mins.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  20. 01-16-2006 02:40 PM #20
    Law
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    Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property
    Rich





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  21. 01-16-2006 02:47 PM #21
    Big Johnny69
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    Chuck Norris demanded his show be called "Walker, Texas Ranger" because "Bob, Deputy Sheriff" just didn't sound manly enough to him.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  22. 01-16-2006 03:17 PM #22
    Law
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    Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
    Rich





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  23. 01-16-2006 03:19 PM #23
    Big Johnny69
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    Did Chuck Norris not invent the wheel and sliced bread?
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  24. 01-16-2006 03:22 PM #24
    jeffc
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    just go here:

    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

    Personally, I like:

    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the *#$% down.
    I got a fever. And the only prescription is more golf equipment.
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  25. 01-16-2006 03:33 PM #25
    Law
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    Figured. Was worth the try though Thought it was borderline.
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  26. 01-16-2006 03:39 PM #26
    Kilroy
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    Think PG please.
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  27. 01-16-2006 03:42 PM #27
    Big Johnny69
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffc
    just go here:

    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

    Personally, I like:

    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the *#$% down.
    And here I am like a sucker thinking up my own when there is a whole list out there.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  28. 01-16-2006 03:53 PM #28
    Law
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geoff Johnston
    And here I am like a sucker thinking up my own when there is a whole list out there.
    Nothing wrong with using brain cells

    The columbia shuttle burned up on re-entry because nasa dared to try new heat-tiles made of silica fiber instead of chuck's beard trimmings.
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  29. 01-16-2006 04:07 PM #29
    Big Johnny69
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    Chuck Norrris' roundhouse kick is the reason the Leaning Tower of Pisa is tilted!
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  30. 01-16-2006 04:14 PM #30
    Law
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    Chuck Norris can eat only one Lays potato chip
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