Saw this on another forum and thought it was rather amusing...
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Saw this on another forum and thought it was rather amusing...
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice
It would be best to just make one post listing them all.
Thanks.
Dan, he is just trying to catch up to us front runners in total post race!:-)
Isn't he like 100 years old?
:shhh::shhh: Actually I was just trying to get the ball rolling, to see what people could come up with.Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff Johnston
And yes Dan I could have made one post, but where's the fun in that?
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC for infringing on his patented names for his left and right legs, Law and Order...
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Man, you have WAY too much time on your hands. Rather funny though, my favourite is still the Law & Order one. :thumbsup :laughing:
How about this, with his time machine Chuck went back in time and it was he, not Noah, who built the ark and brought along two of every species.
Seeing as how I enjoyed my first steak on the bbq for the year this past friday...
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris once walked into a room and beat up Rambo, Rocky and the Terminator all at the same time and then proceeded to put on a red headband and scream "Adrian, I'll be back!"
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: Good one!Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff Johnston
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the
probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris got Wesley Snipes to appear in the Total Gym infomercial because he bet him he could eat three 72oz steaks in a hour after having sex with his waitress for the first 45 mins.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property
Chuck Norris demanded his show be called "Walker, Texas Ranger" because "Bob, Deputy Sheriff" just didn't sound manly enough to him.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Did Chuck Norris not invent the wheel and sliced bread?
just go here:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
Personally, I like:
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the *#$% down.
:scratchch Figured. Was worth the try though;) Thought it was borderline.
Think PG please.
And here I am like a sucker thinking up my own when there is a whole list out there. :rolleyesQuote:
Originally Posted by jeffc
Nothing wrong with using brain cells:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff Johnston
The columbia shuttle burned up on re-entry because nasa dared to try new heat-tiles made of silica fiber instead of chuck's beard trimmings.
Chuck Norrris' roundhouse kick is the reason the Leaning Tower of Pisa is tilted!
Chuck Norris can eat only one Lays potato chip