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Forum: Golf Jokes

Good clean fun

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: PG rated golf jokes only please

    PG rated golf jokes only please.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 11-20-2005 07:07 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 12,768
    11-20-2005 07:07 AM Go to last post
  1. Be Careful After You Putt Out

    Be careful when you go to pick your ball out of the hole:lmfao

    Started by Golfbum‎, 06-17-2007 09:17 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,085
    06-17-2007 09:17 AM Go to last post
  2. Job Skills

    Freddy went to a career counselor to determine what field he should enter. After extensive testing, the counselor finally gave him the results. "Well, Fred, according to our tests, you are a sadistic psychopath who enjoys inflicting pain, misery and suffering on others. All in all, you'd be...

    Started by AndrewMGA‎, 04-24-2007 07:04 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 3,210
    06-13-2007 04:08 PM Go to last post
  3. Golf defined

    Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer . Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks "Golf...

    Started by rpangman‎, 06-02-2007 07:53 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,932
    06-13-2007 04:05 PM Go to last post
  4. Exemption For A Pga Event

    A good friend of mine emailed this to me, this is too funny! Why I deserve an exemption By John Garrity

    Started by Golfbum‎, 06-13-2007 07:29 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,781
    06-13-2007 02:25 PM Go to last post
  5. Only A Golfer Would Understand This

    It was a sunny morning, a little before 8.00am, on the first hole of a busy course, and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot when a piercing voice came over the club house loud speaker, "Would the gentleman on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee please!" I...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 05-08-2007 01:03 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 3,671
    05-20-2007 05:19 PM Go to last post
  6. My New Clubs

    Carl and Dave were getting ready to tee off on the first hole when Dave noticed that Carl got a new set of clubs. Dave asked Carl how he liked the clubs and if they had added anything to his game. Carl replied: “Oh yeah, they’re great clubs! They’ve added at least 25 yards to my slices, about...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 05-17-2007 01:19 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,873
    05-17-2007 01:19 PM Go to last post
  7. Heart Attack

    A husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. ”Please dear, I need help.” she said. The husband ran off saying: “I’ll go get some help.” A little while later he returned, picked up his putter and began to line up his shot. His wife, on the...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 05-17-2007 01:18 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,726
    05-17-2007 01:18 PM Go to last post
  8. Words of Wisdom about Golf

    Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer. You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks Golf is harder than...

    Started by Hacker‎, 05-11-2007 10:12 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,509
    05-11-2007 10:12 AM Go to last post
  9. Tiger ad.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubAxWIfcE5I&NR This would be so fun :)

    Started by little brit‎, 09-09-2006 02:44 PM
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 8,017
    05-03-2007 04:31 PM Go to last post
  10. 10 Best Caddy Replies

    I did a search and could not find this so I hope it has never been posted before, if so admin please delete. Enjoy TEN BEST CADDY REPLIES # 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 04-30-2007 11:26 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 4,501
    05-02-2007 12:29 PM Go to last post
  11. Dear Abby

    Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs......... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I...

    Started by Golfbum‎, 04-14-2007 06:06 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,342
    04-14-2007 06:06 AM Go to last post
  12. CareTaker

    At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"...

    Started by BirdieMan‎, 03-30-2007 02:07 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,285
    03-30-2007 02:07 PM Go to last post
  13. Golfer and Satan

    A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his...

    Started by BirdieMan‎, 03-30-2007 12:51 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,627
    03-30-2007 12:51 PM Go to last post
  14. I don't know if you guys have read this one

    A MUST READ FOR YOU... HOW TO PLAY WINNING GOLF TABLE OF CONTENTS: Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Dunlop from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker (also...

    Started by ghudson‎, 03-19-2007 07:58 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 3,009
    03-20-2007 11:30 PM Go to last post
  15. how not to play golf

    http://bubblare.se/golf_ar_fantastiskt_kul/ The guys on the cart who roll it are hillarious

    Started by bbad‎, 03-14-2007 04:53 PM
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 4,191
    03-15-2007 03:06 PM Go to last post
  16. An Irish Funny

    One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft. Suddenly there emerged...

    Started by DavidY‎, 03-12-2007 01:30 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,681
    03-12-2007 01:30 AM Go to last post
  17. BlackBerry Golf

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHB5YDxUfJM&mode=related&search=

    Started by MusicMan‎, 03-05-2007 06:31 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,053
    03-05-2007 06:31 PM Go to last post
  18. Golf humour

    1. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. 2. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. 3. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. 4. If you're afraid a full shot...

    Started by rpangman‎, 03-01-2007 01:10 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 4,584
    03-05-2007 01:19 PM Go to last post
  19. Re: The Marty Tregnan Golf Academy

    Coming to Ottawa soon? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5cXtsUYAcM

    Started by hoylake‎, 02-07-2007 01:33 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 5,399
    02-09-2007 01:16 PM Go to last post
  20. Bad drive

    After a particularly poor game of golf, the golfer skipped the "19th" hole and headed straight for home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes, I guess that would be about...

    Started by larry‎, 02-01-2007 04:17 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 3,832
    02-08-2007 09:23 AM Go to last post
  21. How To Speed Up Slow Players

    This is how we speed up slow play in our neck of the woods! Very effective method and no one gets hurt. (Normally no one gets hurt :lmfao ) Plus, no one will argue with you, so you do not have those ugly scenes on the course! :laughing:

    Started by Golfbum‎, 02-07-2007 08:54 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 3,357
    02-08-2007 08:08 AM Go to last post
  22. Don't Lie About Yuor Handicap

    If this were true I know some guys who would not make it past the 10th hole ! Subject: Golf Humor A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf. He was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey,...

    Started by Golfbum‎, 01-30-2007 10:42 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,968
    01-30-2007 10:42 AM Go to last post
  23. Golf truisms

    1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. Grantland Rice 2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. John Updike ...

    Started by larry‎, 01-25-2007 11:25 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,691
    01-25-2007 11:25 AM Go to last post
  24. Talking Be Defined

    ...........................................Be Defined................................ Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer. Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the...

    Started by MusicMan‎, 01-16-2007 12:50 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,867
    01-16-2007 02:29 PM Go to last post
  25. Golf tip

    Saw this on another forum and it's too good a tip not to share. :-) http://www.jimmysreef.com/main.php/v/Videos/golftip.wmv.html

    Started by spackler‎, 01-07-2007 10:44 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,908
    01-13-2007 12:30 AM Go to last post
  26. True Golfer...

    A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 01-11-2007 12:33 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,494
    01-11-2007 03:41 PM Go to last post
  27. Sunday Golf Comics

    Take a good close look at the first cartoon. I will say "Look closely at the TREE" :lmfao Is that GEOFF checking out the clubs for sale? :-) The other one, is next years MATCH between "RICHARD" and Dan. Might be "RICHARDS" only chance of beating DAN! Although "RICHARD" and I have made an...

    Started by Golfbum‎, 01-07-2007 12:32 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,387
    01-07-2007 02:42 PM Go to last post
  28. Ouch-Trust your golf patner

    Ouch-Trust your golf patner http://www.livevideo.com/video/5A74169AEC1B45FAA9786B2DAD7031E7/funny-videos---golf-accident.aspx

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 01-06-2007 08:44 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,220
    01-07-2007 07:10 AM Go to last post
  29. look out seagull

    look out seagull http://www.livevideo.com/video/1A58097ECAED490C9CCAC593B436A71A/bad-golfer.aspx

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 01-06-2007 08:43 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,095
    01-06-2007 08:43 PM Go to last post
  30. Murder by golf club....

    A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club?"

    Started by ghaakman‎, 01-05-2007 02:52 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,054
    01-05-2007 02:52 PM Go to last post
  31. You Will Laugh At This One

    Ok if you do not laugh at this you are on the verge of being dead!

    Started by Golfbum‎, 01-03-2007 02:07 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 3,121
    01-03-2007 04:12 PM Go to last post
  32. Hit da f ball

    Swing thoughts for a better game:lmfao http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oDW7if7rgw

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 12-29-2006 04:13 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 3,116
    12-29-2006 05:26 PM Go to last post
  33. God As A Golf Coach

    God as a Golf Coach A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the 17th hole at Sawgrass in Ponte Verde, Fla. exactly the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the small green that is on a small spit of land. It was something...

    Started by Golfbum‎, 12-26-2006 09:13 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,338
    12-26-2006 09:13 AM Go to last post
  34. The Handicap

    Two golfers were waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman ran across the fairway and into the woods. Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand were chasing her, and a little old man was bringing up the rear. One of the golfers asked the old man, "What the hell...

    Started by Kiwi‎, 12-22-2006 08:40 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,326
    12-22-2006 08:40 PM Go to last post
  35. A murder

    A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club?" "Yes. Yes, I...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 12-22-2006 06:59 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,020
    12-22-2006 07:12 PM Go to last post
  36. Hahahaha!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbNSGI_nV1s

    Started by MusicMan‎, 12-15-2006 02:48 PM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 2,657
    12-19-2006 12:58 PM Go to last post
  37. Smile Get your eyes checked for better scoring

    About 10 years ago my golf game had fallen into a state of disrepair, and I was determined to get to the bottom of what was wrong. Feeling my hand-eye coordination was at fault, I sought out the best ophthalmologist I could find, Dr. Robert Hepler. After a consultation, he wrote me a letter...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 12-08-2006 07:01 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 3,069
    12-15-2006 09:03 AM Go to last post
  38. Get your priorities straight

    One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.

    Started by Del Delaplante‎, 11-30-2006 10:55 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,551
    12-01-2006 11:40 AM Go to last post
  39. Wink How Lucky

    Golf Nuts and HOW LUCKY A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he scored his first hole in one, when his cell phone rang. It was his doctor notifying him his wife had just been in a terrible ...

    Started by jaco2002‎, 11-27-2006 11:51 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,205
    11-27-2006 11:51 PM Go to last post
  40. Winning Golf Strategies

    Here is the Table of Contents from my new book, "Winning Golf Strategies", which I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my own years of experience in the game and observations of golfing partners. Table of Contents: Chapter 1...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 11-27-2006 05:40 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 8,853
    11-27-2006 05:40 PM Go to last post
  41. Slice retaliation

    Slice retaliation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC8Zvl-8ziA

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 11-08-2006 10:26 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 2,941
    11-10-2006 04:10 AM Go to last post
  42. Moved: Cute Puppies

    Started by fareeha786‎, 11-02-2006 03:25 PM
    • Replies: -
    • Views: -
    11-02-2006 01:09 PM Go to last post
  43. Candid Camera Golf

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwfx3udosus

    Started by Kilroy‎, 10-21-2006 10:09 AM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 4,247
    10-24-2006 06:49 AM Go to last post
  44. Throwing the putter.

    So, I found this ... and didn't dare post it in the Rules forum.

    Started by sharkshooter‎, 10-04-2006 02:57 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,730
    10-19-2006 05:47 PM Go to last post
  45. ninja vs golfer

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAzRa05eFEY&NR

    Started by EO26‎, 09-30-2006 06:39 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 3,760
    10-06-2006 03:22 PM Go to last post
  46. This one for you Gbum

    On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion into a gas station in a remote outport. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "How's she...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 10-04-2006 08:37 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 2,453
    10-04-2006 11:41 AM Go to last post
  47. Now This Guy Is Just Plain Stupid

    Ok you have to see this act and then you will know what the title of this post means! http://www.anothersite.co.uk/gallery/index.php?action=showpic&cat=7&pic=1113

    Started by Golfbum‎, 07-29-2005 07:38 PM
    • Replies: 20
    • Views: 9,265
    09-28-2006 08:40 PM Go to last post
  48. Robin Williams on golf

    I know you all heard this before and it's funny as heck but here is the link in case you want to have a laugh. :-) :laughing: Robin Williams on golf NOTE: there is some language with this video

    Started by NoBack‎, 07-12-2005 07:55 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 6,547
    09-27-2006 01:00 PM Go to last post
  49. One Liner's

    A Rock Hudson Putt: Looks straight...but it ain't... Two ants sat on the grass watching a duffer dig up the course. One said to the other, “Let’s get on the ball before he kills us!” Two golfers are at the first tee: Golfer one: ``Hey, guess what? I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!'' Golfer...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:49 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 26,058
    09-27-2006 11:23 AM Go to last post
  50. he knew nothing

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he’d try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green." The novice...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 12:06 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 3,399
    09-27-2006 11:18 AM Go to last post

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