Forum: Golf Jokes

Saw this today online, enjoy! :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ReKQLTeSMbY

haha.....awesome! http://www.golf.com/photos/dufnering-meme-takes-internet-storm-jason-dufner-twitter/jason-dufner-keegan-bradley?sct=hp3#332455

A priest who is also a mad keen golfer is desperate to get a game in after a long snowed in winter. The weather finally clears and the conditions are fine enough to get out for a game, but the only available time was an early Sunday morning clashing with his Sunday Mass duties. He tells a huge...

http://www.maniacworld.com/funny-golf-bloopers.html

Golf Humour Eileen and her husband Doug went for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of...

Ok you have to see this act and then you will know what the title of this post means! http://www.anothersite.co.uk/gallery/index.php?action=showpic&cat=7&pic=1113

A nun walked into Mother Superior’s office and plunked down into a chair. She let out a sigh, heavy with frustration."What troubles you, Sister?" asked the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family." "It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with...

In My Hand I Hold A Ball, White And Dimpled, Rather Small. Oh, How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.. By It's Size I Could Not Guess, The Awesome Strength It Does Possess. But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

more of a story not a joke , but a good chuckle none the less https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I7EGnzYRiU

The funniest part of the song "my putter alone cost a thousand bucks". http://members.shaw.ca/stephen.sutherland/golf.html

New Golf Rules for seniors I thought you would want to know. The CARP Organization (Canadian Association of Retired People) has negotiated with the USGA & the Canadian Golf Association to modify the Rules of Golf for seniors, effective January 1, 2008. Rule 1.a.5

A golfer set up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in...

Had a good chuckle with this one. Thought I'd share. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vrxYLjkRkQ

A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around...

:-) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwGZ8gmF4Ek/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubAxWIfcE5I&NR This would be so fun :)

Coming to Ottawa soon? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5cXtsUYAcM

The Pro is my Shepherd The Pro is my Shepherd, I shall not Slice. He maketh me to Drive Straight Down Green Fairways; He leadeth me Safely across Still Water-Hazards;

I think that you have to be retired to be allowed to use these new rules.:-) The 2006 golf rules for seniors: Rule 1

Here is a new Golf Book that might make for interesting reading for some of you. The title is "How to Line up Your 4th Putt" by BOBBY RUSHER. Here are some of the more notable chapters: A. How to hit a Top Flite from the rough when you hit a Titleist from the tee. B. How to avoid the water...

Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." Caddy: "I don't think you could keep your head down that long." Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world!" Caddy: "I doubt it, that would be too much of a coincidence" Golfer: "I'd move...

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with "the girls" a lot recently; although when I ask their names...

http://members.shaw.ca/stephen.sutherland/golf.html :)

Dear Abby, I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs......... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I...

http://www.golf.com/golf/video/article/0,28224,1720077,00.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbNSGI_nV1s

http://www.golfresource.net/videos/Diver.wmv

tiger drives up to a gas station to get gas,he gets out of his car and some tee,s fall out of his pockit. the guy serving the gas said.what are they.and tiger said. they are to rest my balls on when iam driving. the gas guy said what will they think of next with these new cars.

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.

These guys had a suprise................!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD-WZ1mKUG8

I know you all heard this before and it's funny as heck but here is the link in case you want to have a laugh. :-) :laughing: Robin Williams on golf NOTE: there is some language with this video

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise...

Tiger's new boat.

This local parish priest decides he's going to improve his game the next time he plays. When he goes into the proshop he asks the pro if he could play a round with him, just to get a few pointers. The pro agrees and leaves the shop with the priest. All through the round the pro gives the priest...

An 80-year-old Scotsman goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?" I'm Scottish and I am a golfer," says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight...

can't remember the exact writing... Fred comes home from his usual Saturday golf game and is welcomed with a "Hi Honey, how was your golf game" from his wife. Fred answer's "Awful, Harry dropped dead on the tenth hole". "Oh my dear, that's terrible" replies his wife. "You're telling me, the...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMa02LjDmHE&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Etotalprosports%2Ecom%2Fblog%2Findex%2Ephp%2F2009%2F05%2Fdavid%2Dfeherty%2Dasks%2Dhey%2Dtiger%2Ddo%2Dyou%2Dfeel%2Dlike%2Da%2Dloser%2F&feature=player_embedded :laughing::laughing::laughing:

Good-Bye A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, ...

"Hi my name is Bill and I'm a Golfer..." While some like to debate whether golf is a game or a sport, I'm debating whether golf is a sport or a drug. From The Addiction Research Foundation here are 10 indicators of an addiction Unusual flare-ups or outbreaks of temper (every second shot) ...

Anyone wanna go half with me? http://cgi.ebay.ca/BETTINARDI-DASS-LEFT-HANDED-BB-2-DREAMWEAVER-SPIDER-WEB_W0QQitemZ7221966627QQcategoryZ115280QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwfx3udosus

A golfer ran into a friend he not seen for years at the driving range one day. They talked about their games, their swings, and all sorts of things. Eventually, one of them said, "How's the family?" The other replied, "Oh, pretty good. I got a new set of clubs for the wife the other day!" "Hey,...

1. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. 2. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. 3. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. 4. If you're afraid a full shot...

20 absolute laws of golf 1: No matter how bad your last shot was it won't be your worst. 2: After playing your best round of golf you can be sure that your next round will be one of your worst. The probability of this law coming true increases with the number of people you tell...

You may have read this book before, but, it never hurts to read more info on golf. :-) Here is a book to read......The chapters are summarized below. Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee ...