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Forum: Golf Jokes

Good clean fun

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: PG rated golf jokes only please

    PG rated golf jokes only please.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 11-20-2005 07:07 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 21,460
    11-20-2005 07:07 AM Go to last post
  1. One Liner's

    A Rock Hudson Putt: Looks straight...but it ain't... Two ants sat on the grass watching a duffer dig up the course. One said to the other, “Let’s get on the ball before he kills us!” Two golfers are at the first tee: Golfer one: ``Hey, guess what? I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!'' Golfer...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 11:49 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 26,914
    09-27-2006 12:23 PM Go to last post
  2. David Feherty classics

    A few choice Dave Feherty quotes are below. If you watch golf on TV, he's often an announcer with a distinct Northern Ireland accent and a colorful way of putting things, . . . so to speak. Feherty Quotes: "Fortunately, Rory McIlroy is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the...

    Started by cleek‎, 05-11-2013 10:23 AM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 22,681
    07-21-2015 02:14 PM Go to last post
  3. Things to say after you or someone has had a bad shot.

    Swiped these from another forum 1. "Put me down for 8, where's the beer cart?" 2. When you leave the first putt way short..... There is some chicken left on that bone. 3. when you play a course with alot of houses and someone jacks it straight at one........... yell,

    Started by Rusty‎, 09-25-2005 12:08 AM
    • Replies: 18
    • Views: 19,545
    09-27-2006 11:25 AM Go to last post
  4. You know you are addicted to golf when ...

    You know you are addicted to golf when: - you go to the course alone and pair up with anyone at all - you finish 18 holes and announce to your group you are ready for 9 more - you often get upset because you only managed to get in 4 rounds in one week - you wish there were 6 warmup holes...

    Started by zoic‎, 08-10-2006 10:29 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 30
    • Views: 17,314
    09-15-2006 11:40 AM Go to last post
  5. Tacky Golf Items

    Men: A putter plunger to help pick up your ball without bending over. If you can't bend over hire a caddy. Women: Those giant visors sometimes flaunting a bow on the front. They are WAY too big and obnoxious, and could be hazardous in a strong wind. Coloured golf balls. There is still some...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 11:30 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 37
    • Views: 17,296
    05-30-2006 12:25 PM Go to last post
  6. Thumbs up Golf Trivia Challenge

    http://www.cincinnati.com/golf/golfquiz/html/brand.htm

    Started by Kiwi‎, 04-26-2008 08:40 AM
    • Replies: 17
    • Views: 17,189
    06-02-2009 11:40 AM Go to last post
  7. Hockey Stick Putters

    Anyone have one? http://www.hockeystickputters.com/

    Started by foxman‎, 11-23-2007 03:25 PM
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 17,085
    08-13-2008 09:38 PM Go to last post
  8. Question Ethics question

    What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin. Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it...

    Started by Kiwi‎, 02-14-2012 12:01 AM
    • Replies: 9
    • Views: 16,999
    08-20-2021 09:51 PM Go to last post
  9. Names for Golf Shots

    A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect A Rodney King - Over Clubbed An OJ Simpson - somehow got away with it A sister in law - up there, but I know that I shouldn't be A Paula Radcliffe - ugly but a good runner A Kate Moss - a bit thin Punching Gerry Adams - hitting a provisional...

    Started by Colby‎, 02-08-2006 12:17 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 16,826
    02-25-2006 09:14 AM Go to last post
  10. Old Golf Ball

    An old ball at the bottom of a golf bag is ranting and raving. "I'm sick of this" he says. "It's hot and dark in here, and I never seem to get taken out to play anymore" A nearby plastic tee shakes his head. "Unbelievable", he says. "A talking golf ball."

    Started by Law‎, 01-14-2006 05:44 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 16,304
    09-15-2006 11:51 AM Go to last post
  11. Woman's insane pro-am swing video

    For those who haven't seen this yet, I'd love to try this technique out on the range! https://twitter.com/wheatiePGA/status/908146996329902081 :golf

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 09-15-2017 09:34 AM
    crazy, insane, proam, swing, twitter
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 14,885
    09-16-2017 07:35 AM Go to last post
  12. golf humor etc

    Before reading the neat poem below, here is a little known fact about golf balls. According to Golf World magazine, the average golfer loses two golf balls per round for a worldwide total of approximately 2,465,752 every day. Worried about running out? Don't be. Companies like Titleist are...

    Started by nolrac2‎, 05-28-2016 10:32 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,432
    05-28-2016 10:32 PM Go to last post
  13. The ho scale

    The club ho scale: 3 seperate classes of ho's Class A=The collector,one who buys as much as he or she can,simply to store. Class B=The player who relies on new models/technology in hope of improving his/her score. Class C=The player who cant resist the allure of shiny new gear,thus never...

    Started by covanant‎, 03-17-2006 04:41 PM
    • Replies: 28
    • Views: 14,042
    09-15-2006 11:04 PM Go to last post
  14. Funny Golf Pics And Videos

    Golf course on an aircraft carrier, mini golf, and more. The woman kissing her trophy made me laugh out loud. http://quick-content.com/?p=173

    Started by codytaylor‎, 08-26-2009 12:22 AM
    funny, funny golf, funny golf pics, golf, golf funny
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 13,916
    07-19-2011 08:32 AM Go to last post
  15. Golf Truisms

    These will make you laugh - they're so true. ______________________ Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while...

    Started by mpare‎, 08-26-2009 11:33 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 13,701
    09-01-2009 10:35 AM Go to last post
  16. Golf Is War!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyDHaKtROZo&feature=player_embedded#!

    Started by CaptainHook‎, 02-28-2012 05:30 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 13,667
    03-25-2013 05:14 PM Go to last post
  17. Spike TV Darth Vader Commercial

    I don't know if anyone has seen this yet, it is really funny! http://www.spike.com/video/star-wars-shoot/2996496

    Started by Colby‎, 07-10-2010 09:46 AM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 13,603
    07-26-2010 03:16 PM Go to last post
  18. Ummmm.....Phil?

    Ummmm.....Phil? What did I just watch???! https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl-yYxwnGUv/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=n3lqvzc0eqsa

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 08-02-2018 12:23 PM
    dance, dancing, lefty, mickelson, phil
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 13,431
    09-05-2018 09:05 AM Go to last post
  19. Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder

    Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with knee and my swing, but I think I've got that right now.' Stevie...

    Started by Eldred‎, 09-03-2009 05:04 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 13,378
    05-20-2011 08:44 AM Go to last post
  20. Winning Golf Strategies

    Here is the Table of Contents from my new book, "Winning Golf Strategies", which I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my own years of experience in the game and observations of golfing partners. Table of Contents: Chapter 1...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 11-27-2006 05:40 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,373
    11-27-2006 05:40 PM Go to last post
  21. Ladie's Tee

    This is a good one!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUj_qqVxVrE Really reminds me of my friend Sillywilly :P :-)

    Started by Hacker‎, 03-02-2010 01:10 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 12,699
    03-14-2010 08:03 AM Go to last post
  22. old couple playing golf

    On Sunday I'm playing golf and we hear an old couple having an arguement on the hole next to us. We couldn't hear what they were arguing about, but we heard the woman say "Why are you questioning me?!" Woman takes off, the man puts his head down and follows the woman. We had a good...

    Started by nokids‎, 08-16-2011 08:45 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 12,412
    08-19-2011 05:27 PM Go to last post
  23. golf hazard

    A husband and wife were out golfing together one day when they came upon a tough par 4 hole. The husband hooked his drive deep into the woods and proclaimed that he would have to chip out. Then the wife said: "Maybe not, dear! Do you see that barn over there? If I open the doors on both sides, I do...

    Started by nokids‎, 10-28-2009 10:46 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 12,392
    10-28-2009 10:46 AM Go to last post
  24. Brutal Iron Shot...

    Just brutal..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bR3-tE29Vc

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 12-09-2015 03:18 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 12,371
    12-10-2015 12:46 AM Go to last post
  25. 2 person trick shot at the range

    Better form than my normal swing :scratchch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYd8KE2Whd8

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 03-11-2014 08:51 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 12,253
    09-13-2015 12:17 AM Go to last post
  26. Talking My next purchase-A must read

    :-) Subject: Golf Book Many of you may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last 4 years putting my thoughts and ideas together in a book. I am very proud of the results and to assist with the marketing, I am asking friends and family to help me out. I believe my new book on...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 06-10-2009 05:33 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 12,123
    06-12-2009 09:10 PM Go to last post
  27. Chuckle

    And then finally, there is the American playing golf in Scotland for the first time. After hitting his tee shot off the first out-of-bounds, he asks his local caddie, “Do you have Mulligans in Scotland”? The caddie replies “Aye, we do sir – but here we call them 3’s”!

    Started by nolrac2‎, 06-25-2019 06:39 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 12,023
    06-25-2019 06:39 AM Go to last post
  28. Will you remarry?

    Wife: Will you remarry if I die before you? Husband: Yes, I will. I'm still virile and relatively young. Wife: Will you live in our house with her? Husband: Of course. It's paid for, and I like it here. Wife: Would you let her use my golf clubs?

    Started by Gary Madore‎, 04-10-2010 06:29 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 11,998
    04-10-2010 06:29 PM Go to last post
  29. Cool 10 best caddie comments

    # 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth. # 8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is...

    Started by BogeyGolf‎, 08-17-2009 04:53 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 11,904
    08-22-2009 07:10 AM Go to last post
  30. Little Johnny's back!!!

    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave...

    Started by NoBack‎, 12-16-2009 07:30 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 11,868
    12-16-2009 08:15 PM Go to last post
  31. Dear Diary

    Wife’s Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I...

    Started by Coreythebody‎, 07-25-2011 11:44 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 11,772
    07-25-2011 11:44 AM Go to last post
  32. Best Follow-Through Ever?

    :cool http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md08xx3n1o4

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 10-02-2013 10:47 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 11,528
    10-03-2013 09:49 AM Go to last post
  33. Funny Golf Videos

    http://www.maniacworld.com/funny-golf-bloopers.html

    Started by rezadue‎, 10-28-2008 08:44 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 11,521
    05-11-2009 01:22 AM Go to last post
  34. Gary Evan's driver spit trick shot

    How do people think up these shots? :laughing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kiWrMoqL6Ps

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 11-20-2012 12:42 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 11,503
    11-26-2012 05:29 AM Go to last post
  35. Saving time at the Golf Course.

    Last week, after a round of golf, we decided to have supper at the clubhouse resturant and after sitting down I noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon...

    Started by Rusty‎, 11-14-2011 03:44 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 11,501
    01-10-2012 04:32 AM Go to last post
  36. 9 Putts Into One Hole

    9 Putts Into One Hole: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hNZnlcOOz00

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 02-18-2013 04:15 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 11,471
    05-26-2015 09:05 PM Go to last post
  37. New Tiger Game

    Ok so you want more Tiger here you go... http://www.break.com/games/tiger-woods-wife-outrun.html

    Started by The Saint‎, 12-05-2009 07:08 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 11,275
    12-07-2009 10:23 PM Go to last post
  38. Golfer's handbook

    I have seen many of these scroll across the banner on this site but they are still pretty funny: ONLY A TRUE GOLFER WILL UNDERSTAND THESE: Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. Never try to keep more than 300 separate...

    Started by leftylucas‎, 01-12-2011 10:39 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 11,189
    06-01-2011 10:31 PM Go to last post
  39. Golf lesson

    A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of...

    Started by syhlif32‎, 12-21-2012 09:42 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 11,161
    12-21-2012 09:42 PM Go to last post
  40. Joke of today

    A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger...

    Started by kelvinb‎, 05-30-2018 07:51 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 11,136
    04-05-2019 03:17 PM Go to last post
  41. Unfaithful Wife

    A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Kathleen, soon we will be married 30 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Kathleen replied, "Well...

    Started by CaptainHook‎, 05-29-2013 11:25 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 11,047
    05-29-2013 11:25 PM Go to last post
  42. Now This Guy Is Just Plain Stupid

    Ok you have to see this act and then you will know what the title of this post means! http://www.anothersite.co.uk/gallery/index.php?action=showpic&cat=7&pic=1113

    Started by Golfbum‎, 07-29-2005 08:38 PM
    • Replies: 20
    • Views: 11,045
    09-28-2006 09:40 PM Go to last post
  43. Funny Video

    The funniest part of the song "my putter alone cost a thousand bucks". http://members.shaw.ca/stephen.sutherland/golf.html

    Started by lms‎, 11-03-2008 10:15 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 11,019
    04-29-2009 10:51 AM Go to last post
  44. Stereotypes: Golf by Dude Perfect

    Enjoy :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PNsMXe170Q#t=85

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 09-04-2013 08:36 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 11,016
    10-02-2013 10:16 PM Go to last post
  45. New Rules of Golf For Seniors

    New Golf Rules for seniors I thought you would want to know. The CARP Organization (Canadian Association of Retired People) has negotiated with the USGA & the Canadian Golf Association to modify the Rules of Golf for seniors, effective January 1, 2008. Rule 1.a.5

    Started by Golfbum‎, 06-01-2008 07:57 AM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 10,974
    06-27-2008 05:55 PM Go to last post
  46. Actual calls received at the public golf course

    ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE (Amherst, Mass.) Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars. Caller: Does that include golf? ------------------------------------------------- ...

    Started by paulfourputt‎, 08-11-2009 04:10 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 10,850
    08-15-2009 08:54 AM Go to last post
  47. Golf game interrupted

    A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend...

    Started by nokids‎, 09-22-2011 02:49 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 10,799
    09-30-2011 11:54 PM Go to last post
  48. Language is no barrier in golf!

    You don't need to know french to appreciate this local legend! An oldie, but a goodie - ENJOY! :goodvibes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULP0cbGXU8k

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 06-30-2011 10:27 AM
    birdie, carl, carmoni, video, youtube
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 10,713
    07-01-2011 07:57 PM Go to last post
  49. Adhering strictly to the rules

    Two friends were playing golf one day. They decided they would adhere strictly to the rules with no improving their lie. After a few holes, one guy's ball landed on a cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief his friend said, "We agreed that we would not improve our lie."...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 08-16-2009 05:41 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 10,668
    08-16-2009 05:41 PM Go to last post
  50. No simulation: Sadlowski Destroys Golf Channel Simulator

    BOOM!!! :cool http://www.golfchannel.com/media/sadlowski-destroys-simulator/

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 11-16-2012 07:34 PM
    destroyed, golf channel, long drive, sadlowski, simulator
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 10,458
    11-16-2012 08:33 PM Go to last post

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