Forum: Golf Jokes

What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin. Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it...

Answer to Peter Jacobson’s thoughts,:scratchch “Do not expect more out of your golf game then what you put into it!”:thumbsup To lower ones score on the golf course without need of practice.:golf It is recommended that one has the most valuable and effective graphite shaft in their bag of...

If you have 1000 golf balls sitting in your basement, don't share this video with anyone in your household! LOL

And then finally, there is the American playing golf in Scotland for the first time. After hitting his tee shot off the first out-of-bounds, he asks his local caddie, “Do you have Mulligans in Scotland”? The caddie replies “Aye, we do sir – but here we call them 3’s”!

:-) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwGZ8gmF4Ek/

A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger...

Ummmm.....Phil? What did I just watch???! https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl-yYxwnGUv/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=n3lqvzc0eqsa

more of a story not a joke , but a good chuckle none the less https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I7EGnzYRiU

For those who haven't seen this yet, I'd love to try this technique out on the range! https://twitter.com/wheatiePGA/status/908146996329902081 :golf

Before reading the neat poem below, here is a little known fact about golf balls. According to Golf World magazine, the average golfer loses two golf balls per round for a worldwide total of approximately 2,465,752 every day. Worried about running out? Don't be. Companies like Titleist are...

Golf Humour Eileen and her husband Doug went for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of...

Just brutal..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bR3-tE29Vc

Better form than my normal swing :scratchch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYd8KE2Whd8

A few choice Dave Feherty quotes are below. If you watch golf on TV, he's often an announcer with a distinct Northern Ireland accent and a colorful way of putting things, . . . so to speak. Feherty Quotes: "Fortunately, Rory McIlroy is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the...

9 Putts Into One Hole: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hNZnlcOOz00

:cool http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md08xx3n1o4

Enjoy :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PNsMXe170Q#t=85

A priest who is also a mad keen golfer is desperate to get a game in after a long snowed in winter. The weather finally clears and the conditions are fine enough to get out for a game, but the only available time was an early Sunday morning clashing with his Sunday Mass duties. He tells a huge...

A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Kathleen, soon we will be married 30 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Kathleen replied, "Well...

haha.....awesome! http://www.golf.com/photos/dufnering-meme-takes-internet-storm-jason-dufner-twitter/jason-dufner-keegan-bradley?sct=hp3#332455

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyDHaKtROZo&feature=player_embedded#!

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of...

How do people think up these shots? :laughing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kiWrMoqL6Ps

BOOM!!! :cool http://www.golfchannel.com/media/sadlowski-destroys-simulator/

Saw this today online, enjoy! :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ReKQLTeSMbY

Some of these are pretty good hehe http://www.golfdigest.com/golf/humor/photos-golf-doppelgangers#intro

Last week, after a round of golf, we decided to have supper at the clubhouse resturant and after sitting down I noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon...

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend...

On Sunday I'm playing golf and we hear an old couple having an arguement on the hole next to us. We couldn't hear what they were arguing about, but we heard the woman say "Why are you questioning me?!" Woman takes off, the man puts his head down and follows the woman. We had a good...

Wife’s Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I...

Golf course on an aircraft carrier, mini golf, and more. The woman kissing her trophy made me laugh out loud. http://quick-content.com/?p=173

You don't need to know french to appreciate this local legend! An oldie, but a goodie - ENJOY! :goodvibes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULP0cbGXU8k

I have seen many of these scroll across the banner on this site but they are still pretty funny: ONLY A TRUE GOLFER WILL UNDERSTAND THESE: Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. Never try to keep more than 300 separate...

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with knee and my swing, but I think I've got that right now.' Stevie...

A Priest decides that he wants to go play a round of golf on a sunday for a change, so he plans ahead and finds someone to do his sermon for him, careful not to mention that he wants to play golf instead. A saint from heaven saw right through his plan and asked God, " Your not gonna let him get...

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance and support to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said "Ladies,...

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for minute, picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. ...

I don't know if anyone has seen this yet, it is really funny! http://www.spike.com/video/star-wars-shoot/2996496

Wife: Will you remarry if I die before you? Husband: Yes, I will. I'm still virile and relatively young. Wife: Will you live in our house with her? Husband: Of course. It's paid for, and I like it here. Wife: Would you let her use my golf clubs?

A nun walked into Mother Superior’s office and plunked down into a chair. She let out a sigh, heavy with frustration."What troubles you, Sister?" asked the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family." "It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with...

This is a good one!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUj_qqVxVrE Really reminds me of my friend Sillywilly :P :-)

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave...

Ok so you want more Tiger here you go... http://www.break.com/games/tiger-woods-wife-outrun.html

A husband and wife were out golfing together one day when they came upon a tough par 4 hole. The husband hooked his drive deep into the woods and proclaimed that he would have to chip out. Then the wife said: "Maybe not, dear! Do you see that barn over there? If I open the doors on both sides, I do...

These will make you laugh - they're so true. ______________________ Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while...

# 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth. # 8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is...

Two friends were playing golf one day. They decided they would adhere strictly to the rules with no improving their lie. After a few holes, one guy's ball landed on a cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief his friend said, "We agreed that we would not improve our lie."...