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Forum: Golf Jokes

Good clean fun

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: PG rated golf jokes only please

    PG rated golf jokes only please.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 11-20-2005 06:07 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 21,088
    11-20-2005 06:07 AM Go to last post
  1. One Liner's

    A Rock Hudson Putt: Looks straight...but it ain't... Two ants sat on the grass watching a duffer dig up the course. One said to the other, “Let’s get on the ball before he kills us!” Two golfers are at the first tee: Golfer one: ``Hey, guess what? I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!'' Golfer...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:49 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 26,859
    09-27-2006 11:23 AM Go to last post
  2. David Feherty classics

    A few choice Dave Feherty quotes are below. If you watch golf on TV, he's often an announcer with a distinct Northern Ireland accent and a colorful way of putting things, . . . so to speak. Feherty Quotes: "Fortunately, Rory McIlroy is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the...

    Started by cleek‎, 05-11-2013 09:23 AM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 22,408
    07-21-2015 01:14 PM Go to last post
  3. Things to say after you or someone has had a bad shot.

    Swiped these from another forum 1. "Put me down for 8, where's the beer cart?" 2. When you leave the first putt way short..... There is some chicken left on that bone. 3. when you play a course with alot of houses and someone jacks it straight at one........... yell,

    Started by Rusty‎, 09-24-2005 11:08 PM
    • Replies: 18
    • Views: 19,293
    09-27-2006 10:25 AM Go to last post
  4. You know you are addicted to golf when ...

    You know you are addicted to golf when: - you go to the course alone and pair up with anyone at all - you finish 18 holes and announce to your group you are ready for 9 more - you often get upset because you only managed to get in 4 rounds in one week - you wish there were 6 warmup holes...

    Started by zoic‎, 08-10-2006 09:29 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 30
    • Views: 16,950
    09-15-2006 10:40 AM Go to last post
  5. Hockey Stick Putters

    Anyone have one?

    Started by foxman‎, 11-23-2007 02:25 PM
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 16,947
    08-13-2008 08:38 PM Go to last post
  6. Tacky Golf Items

    Men: A putter plunger to help pick up your ball without bending over. If you can't bend over hire a caddy. Women: Those giant visors sometimes flaunting a bow on the front. They are WAY too big and obnoxious, and could be hazardous in a strong wind. Coloured golf balls. There is still some...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:30 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 37
    • Views: 16,892
    05-30-2006 11:25 AM Go to last post
  7. Thumbs up Golf Trivia Challenge

    Started by Kiwi‎, 04-26-2008 07:40 AM
    • Replies: 17
    • Views: 16,795
    06-02-2009 10:40 AM Go to last post
  8. Names for Golf Shots

    A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect A Rodney King - Over Clubbed An OJ Simpson - somehow got away with it A sister in law - up there, but I know that I shouldn't be A Paula Radcliffe - ugly but a good runner A Kate Moss - a bit thin Punching Gerry Adams - hitting a provisional...

    Started by Colby‎, 02-08-2006 11:17 AM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 16,763
    02-25-2006 08:14 AM Go to last post
  9. Question Ethics question

    What if you were playing in the club championship tournament finals and the match was halved at the end of 17 holes. You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple six iron to the pin. Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it...

    Started by Kiwi‎, 02-13-2012 11:01 PM
    • Replies: 9
    • Views: 16,499
    08-20-2021 08:51 PM Go to last post
  10. Old Golf Ball

    An old ball at the bottom of a golf bag is ranting and raving. "I'm sick of this" he says. "It's hot and dark in here, and I never seem to get taken out to play anymore" A nearby plastic tee shakes his head. "Unbelievable", he says. "A talking golf ball."

    Started by Law‎, 01-14-2006 04:44 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 15,749
    09-15-2006 10:51 AM Go to last post
  11. Woman's insane pro-am swing video

    For those who haven't seen this yet, I'd love to try this technique out on the range! :golf

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 09-15-2017 08:34 AM
    crazy, insane, proam, swing, twitter
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 14,426
    09-16-2017 06:35 AM Go to last post
  12. golf humor etc

    Before reading the neat poem below, here is a little known fact about golf balls. According to Golf World magazine, the average golfer loses two golf balls per round for a worldwide total of approximately 2,465,752 every day. Worried about running out? Don't be. Companies like Titleist are...

    Started by nolrac2‎, 05-28-2016 09:32 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,139
    05-28-2016 09:32 PM Go to last post
  13. The ho scale

    The club ho scale: 3 seperate classes of ho's Class A=The collector,one who buys as much as he or she can,simply to store. Class B=The player who relies on new models/technology in hope of improving his/her score. Class C=The player who cant resist the allure of shiny new gear,thus never...

    Started by covanant‎, 03-17-2006 03:41 PM
    • Replies: 28
    • Views: 13,812
    09-15-2006 10:04 PM Go to last post
  14. Funny Golf Pics And Videos

    Golf course on an aircraft carrier, mini golf, and more. The woman kissing her trophy made me laugh out loud.

    Started by codytaylor‎, 08-25-2009 11:22 PM
    funny, funny golf, funny golf pics, golf, golf funny
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 13,583
    07-19-2011 07:32 AM Go to last post
  15. Golf Is War!!

    Started by CaptainHook‎, 02-28-2012 04:30 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 13,346
    03-25-2013 04:14 PM Go to last post
  16. Golf Truisms

    These will make you laugh - they're so true. ______________________ Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while...

    Started by mpare‎, 08-26-2009 10:33 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 13,336
    09-01-2009 09:35 AM Go to last post
  17. Spike TV Darth Vader Commercial

    I don't know if anyone has seen this yet, it is really funny!

    Started by Colby‎, 07-10-2010 08:46 AM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 13,205
    07-26-2010 02:16 PM Go to last post
  18. Winning Golf Strategies

    Here is the Table of Contents from my new book, "Winning Golf Strategies", which I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my own years of experience in the game and observations of golfing partners. Table of Contents: Chapter 1...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 11-27-2006 04:40 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,179
    11-27-2006 04:40 PM Go to last post
  19. Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder

    Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with knee and my swing, but I think I've got that right now.' Stevie...

    Started by Eldred‎, 09-03-2009 04:04 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 13,087
    05-20-2011 07:44 AM Go to last post
  20. Ummmm.....Phil?

    Ummmm.....Phil? What did I just watch???!

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 08-02-2018 11:23 AM
    dance, dancing, lefty, mickelson, phil
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 12,875
    09-05-2018 08:05 AM Go to last post
  21. Ladie's Tee

    This is a good one!! Really reminds me of my friend Sillywilly :P :-)

    Started by Hacker‎, 03-02-2010 12:10 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 12,294
    03-14-2010 07:03 AM Go to last post
  22. old couple playing golf

    On Sunday I'm playing golf and we hear an old couple having an arguement on the hole next to us. We couldn't hear what they were arguing about, but we heard the woman say "Why are you questioning me?!" Woman takes off, the man puts his head down and follows the woman. We had a good...

    Started by nokids‎, 08-16-2011 07:45 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 12,079
    08-19-2011 04:27 PM Go to last post
  23. Brutal Iron Shot...

    Just brutal.....

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 12-09-2015 02:18 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 12,067
    12-09-2015 11:46 PM Go to last post
  24. golf hazard

    A husband and wife were out golfing together one day when they came upon a tough par 4 hole. The husband hooked his drive deep into the woods and proclaimed that he would have to chip out. Then the wife said: "Maybe not, dear! Do you see that barn over there? If I open the doors on both sides, I do...

    Started by nokids‎, 10-28-2009 09:46 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 12,062
    10-28-2009 09:46 AM Go to last post
  25. 2 person trick shot at the range

    Better form than my normal swing :scratchch

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 03-11-2014 07:51 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 11,952
    09-12-2015 11:17 PM Go to last post
  26. Talking My next purchase-A must read

    :-) Subject: Golf Book Many of you may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last 4 years putting my thoughts and ideas together in a book. I am very proud of the results and to assist with the marketing, I am asking friends and family to help me out. I believe my new book on...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 06-10-2009 04:33 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 11,817
    06-12-2009 08:10 PM Go to last post
  27. Will you remarry?

    Wife: Will you remarry if I die before you? Husband: Yes, I will. I'm still virile and relatively young. Wife: Will you live in our house with her? Husband: Of course. It's paid for, and I like it here. Wife: Would you let her use my golf clubs?

    Started by Gary Madore‎, 04-10-2010 05:29 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 11,694
    04-10-2010 05:29 PM Go to last post
  28. Chuckle

    And then finally, there is the American playing golf in Scotland for the first time. After hitting his tee shot off the first out-of-bounds, he asks his local caddie, “Do you have Mulligans in Scotland”? The caddie replies “Aye, we do sir – but here we call them 3’s”!

    Started by nolrac2‎, 06-25-2019 05:39 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 11,628
    06-25-2019 05:39 AM Go to last post
  29. Cool 10 best caddie comments

    # 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth. # 8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is...

    Started by BogeyGolf‎, 08-17-2009 03:53 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 11,581
    08-22-2009 06:10 AM Go to last post
  30. Little Johnny's back!!!

    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave...

    Started by NoBack‎, 12-16-2009 06:30 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 11,521
    12-16-2009 07:15 PM Go to last post
  31. Dear Diary

    Wife’s Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I...

    Started by Coreythebody‎, 07-25-2011 10:44 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 11,466
    07-25-2011 10:44 AM Go to last post
  32. Funny Golf Videos

    Started by rezadue‎, 10-28-2008 07:44 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 11,382
    05-11-2009 12:22 AM Go to last post
  33. Best Follow-Through Ever?


    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 10-02-2013 09:47 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 11,200
    10-03-2013 08:49 AM Go to last post
  34. Gary Evan's driver spit trick shot

    How do people think up these shots? :laughing:

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 11-20-2012 11:42 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 11,176
    11-26-2012 04:29 AM Go to last post
  35. Saving time at the Golf Course.

    Last week, after a round of golf, we decided to have supper at the clubhouse resturant and after sitting down I noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon...

    Started by Rusty‎, 11-14-2011 02:44 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 11,162
    01-10-2012 03:32 AM Go to last post
  36. 9 Putts Into One Hole

    9 Putts Into One Hole:

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 02-18-2013 03:15 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 11,151
    05-26-2015 08:05 PM Go to last post
  37. New Tiger Game

    Ok so you want more Tiger here you go...

    Started by The Saint‎, 12-05-2009 06:08 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 11,003
    12-07-2009 09:23 PM Go to last post
  38. Funny Video

    The funniest part of the song "my putter alone cost a thousand bucks".

    Started by lms‎, 11-03-2008 09:15 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 10,964
    04-29-2009 09:51 AM Go to last post
  39. New Rules of Golf For Seniors

    New Golf Rules for seniors I thought you would want to know. The CARP Organization (Canadian Association of Retired People) has negotiated with the USGA & the Canadian Golf Association to modify the Rules of Golf for seniors, effective January 1, 2008. Rule 1.a.5

    Started by Golfbum‎, 06-01-2008 06:57 AM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 10,893
    06-27-2008 04:55 PM Go to last post
  40. Golfer's handbook

    I have seen many of these scroll across the banner on this site but they are still pretty funny: ONLY A TRUE GOLFER WILL UNDERSTAND THESE: Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it. Never try to keep more than 300 separate...

    Started by leftylucas‎, 01-12-2011 09:39 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 10,892
    06-01-2011 09:31 PM Go to last post
  41. Now This Guy Is Just Plain Stupid

    Ok you have to see this act and then you will know what the title of this post means!

    Started by Golfbum‎, 07-29-2005 07:38 PM
    • Replies: 20
    • Views: 10,887
    09-28-2006 08:40 PM Go to last post
  42. Golf lesson

    A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of...

    Started by syhlif32‎, 12-21-2012 08:42 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 10,833
    12-21-2012 08:42 PM Go to last post
  43. Unfaithful Wife

    A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Kathleen, soon we will be married 30 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Kathleen replied, "Well...

    Started by CaptainHook‎, 05-29-2013 10:25 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 10,773
    05-29-2013 10:25 PM Go to last post
  44. Joke of today

    A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger...

    Started by kelvinb‎, 05-30-2018 06:51 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 10,759
    04-05-2019 02:17 PM Go to last post
  45. Stereotypes: Golf by Dude Perfect

    Enjoy :-)

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 09-04-2013 07:36 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 10,710
    10-02-2013 09:16 PM Go to last post
  46. Actual calls received at the public golf course

    ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE (Amherst, Mass.) Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars. Caller: Does that include golf? ------------------------------------------------- ...

    Started by paulfourputt‎, 08-11-2009 03:10 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 10,592
    08-15-2009 07:54 AM Go to last post
  47. Golf game interrupted

    A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend...

    Started by nokids‎, 09-22-2011 01:49 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 10,481
    09-30-2011 10:54 PM Go to last post
  48. Language is no barrier in golf!

    You don't need to know french to appreciate this local legend! An oldie, but a goodie - ENJOY! :goodvibes

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 06-30-2011 09:27 AM
    birdie, carl, carmoni, video, youtube
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 10,391
    07-01-2011 06:57 PM Go to last post
  49. Adhering strictly to the rules

    Two friends were playing golf one day. They decided they would adhere strictly to the rules with no improving their lie. After a few holes, one guy's ball landed on a cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief his friend said, "We agreed that we would not improve our lie."...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 08-16-2009 04:41 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 10,349
    08-16-2009 04:41 PM Go to last post
  50. No simulation: Sadlowski Destroys Golf Channel Simulator

    BOOM!!! :cool

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 11-16-2012 06:34 PM
    destroyed, golf channel, long drive, sadlowski, simulator
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 10,146
    11-16-2012 07:33 PM Go to last post

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