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Forum: Golf Jokes

Good clean fun

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: PG rated golf jokes only please

    PG rated golf jokes only please.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 11-20-2005 07:07 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 12,817
    11-20-2005 07:07 AM Go to last post
  1. very funny "tiger" clip


    Started by "Richard"‎, 03-21-2006 02:23 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 3,523
    09-15-2006 11:11 AM Go to last post
  2. Naked tour players....

    I was talking to my friend on msn earlier today and this is the convo I've had with him (I'm Depe). He is also a memeber, but he reads.. doesn't post Depe J says: Congrats, that’s awesome. Hope you like the set, you got a wicked deal ARUN says: i can’t wait for my clubs ...

    Started by "Richard"‎, 03-26-2006 06:29 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 3,366
    03-29-2006 08:05 PM Go to last post
  3. mighty swing

    A golfer set up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in...

    Started by 314314‎, 08-12-2008 01:42 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 5,306
    05-11-2009 12:25 AM Go to last post
  4. Aging wife!

    It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My...

    Started by 3putt‎, 09-09-2005 10:28 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 3,575
    09-09-2005 03:50 PM Go to last post
  5. 10 Best Caddy Replies

    I did a search and could not find this so I hope it has never been posted before, if so admin please delete. Enjoy TEN BEST CADDY REPLIES # 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 04-30-2007 11:26 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 4,515
    05-02-2007 12:29 PM Go to last post
  6. Only A Golfer Would Understand This

    It was a sunny morning, a little before 8.00am, on the first hole of a busy course, and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot when a piercing voice came over the club house loud speaker, "Would the gentleman on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee please!" I...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 05-08-2007 01:03 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 3,689
    05-20-2007 05:19 PM Go to last post
  7. Heart Attack

    A husband and wife were playing on the ninth green when she collapsed from a heart attack. ”Please dear, I need help.” she said. The husband ran off saying: “I’ll go get some help.” A little while later he returned, picked up his putter and began to line up his shot. His wife, on the...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 05-17-2007 01:18 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,742
    05-17-2007 01:18 PM Go to last post
  8. My New Clubs

    Carl and Dave were getting ready to tee off on the first hole when Dave noticed that Carl got a new set of clubs. Dave asked Carl how he liked the clubs and if they had added anything to his game. Carl replied: “Oh yeah, they’re great clubs! They’ve added at least 25 yards to my slices, about...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 05-17-2007 01:19 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,884
    05-17-2007 01:19 PM Go to last post
  9. The Brake Failed

    His partner thought his blackberry was getting wet and jumped in to save the clubs and phones. This happened on the first hole so he played the 18 in bare feet.

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 06-16-2008 10:52 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 5,544
    08-18-2008 08:42 PM Go to last post
  10. Job Skills

    Freddy went to a career counselor to determine what field he should enter. After extensive testing, the counselor finally gave him the results. "Well, Fred, according to our tests, you are a sadistic psychopath who enjoys inflicting pain, misery and suffering on others. All in all, you'd be...

    Started by AndrewMGA‎, 04-24-2007 07:04 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 3,223
    06-13-2007 04:08 PM Go to last post
  11. A Great Game

    A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdy the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a...

    Started by Arnold Kleiman‎, 08-25-2006 02:49 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,709
    09-15-2006 10:21 AM Go to last post
  12. how not to play golf

    http://bubblare.se/golf_ar_fantastiskt_kul/ The guys on the cart who roll it are hillarious

    Started by bbad‎, 03-14-2007 04:53 PM
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 4,236
    03-15-2007 03:06 PM Go to last post
  13. Golfer and Satan

    A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his...

    Started by BirdieMan‎, 03-30-2007 12:51 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,638
    03-30-2007 12:51 PM Go to last post
  14. CareTaker

    At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"...

    Started by BirdieMan‎, 03-30-2007 02:07 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,299
    03-30-2007 02:07 PM Go to last post
  15. Golfer's Beware

    >>>> A golfer is looking for his ball in the woods when he comes up to >>>> another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly pressed against the >>>> tree. Seeing this he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what the >>>> hell are you doing?" >>>> >>>> "I'm listening to the music of the tree."...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 04-08-2006 05:05 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 3,261
    09-18-2006 03:42 PM Go to last post
  16. Beware of lost golf balls

    A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes,and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole; we both sliced...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 06-09-2006 11:19 AM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 2,813
    06-13-2006 10:25 PM Go to last post
  17. Why Golf Is Better Than Sex

    David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex..... #10...A below par performance is considered damn good. #9...You can stop in the middle

    Started by bobblehead‎, 06-21-2006 02:25 PM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 3,550
    09-15-2006 10:57 AM Go to last post
  18. Winning Golf Strategies

    Here is the Table of Contents from my new book, "Winning Golf Strategies", which I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my own years of experience in the game and observations of golfing partners. Table of Contents: Chapter 1...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 11-27-2006 05:40 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 9,037
    11-27-2006 05:40 PM Go to last post
  19. True Golfer...

    A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 01-11-2007 12:33 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,504
    01-11-2007 03:41 PM Go to last post
  20. sure putt

    > > A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple > of strokes. > > "Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to > himself. > > > > Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and > > whispers, "Would you be willing to give up...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 09-03-2007 10:20 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,120
    09-03-2007 10:20 PM Go to last post
  21. The Therapist

    A husband and wife went for counselling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy,...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 01-31-2008 05:38 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 3,127
    02-02-2008 07:36 PM Go to last post
  22. Afterlife

    A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, 'Connie ...Connie': 'Is that...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 11-28-2008 11:46 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,660
    11-28-2008 11:46 AM Go to last post
  23. Who's In The Shower?

    A fellow was invited by a friend to play a round of golf at the latter's country club. However, he somehow wandered into the women's locker room and shower area. He was under a shower when he heard the locker room door open, followed by the sound of female voices. He waited a bit, hoping the...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 02-12-2009 11:19 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 4,765
    04-29-2009 12:55 AM Go to last post
  24. The golfing nun

    A nun walked into Mother Superior’s office and plunked down into a chair. She let out a sigh, heavy with frustration."What troubles you, Sister?" asked the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family." "It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 04-08-2010 09:57 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,918
    04-08-2010 09:57 AM Go to last post
  25. Cool 10 best caddie comments

    # 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth. # 8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is...

    Started by BogeyGolf‎, 08-17-2009 03:53 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 4,377
    08-22-2009 06:10 AM Go to last post
  26. Golf Is War!


    Started by CaptainHook‎, 02-28-2012 05:30 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 5,549
    03-25-2013 04:14 PM Go to last post
  27. Unfaithful Wife

    A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Kathleen, soon we will be married 30 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?" Kathleen replied, "Well...

    Started by CaptainHook‎, 05-29-2013 10:25 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,265
    05-29-2013 10:25 PM Go to last post
  28. Tiger's new boat

    Tiger's new boat.

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 03-01-2006 10:34 AM
    • Replies: 14
    • Views: 5,102
    09-18-2006 03:59 PM Go to last post
  29. This one for you Gbum

    On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion into a gas station in a remote outport. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "How's she...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 10-04-2006 08:37 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 2,474
    10-04-2006 11:41 AM Go to last post
  30. Slice retaliation

    Slice retaliation http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC8Zvl-8ziA

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 11-08-2006 10:26 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 2,968
    11-10-2006 04:10 AM Go to last post
  31. Smile Get your eyes checked for better scoring

    About 10 years ago my golf game had fallen into a state of disrepair, and I was determined to get to the bottom of what was wrong. Feeling my hand-eye coordination was at fault, I sought out the best ophthalmologist I could find, Dr. Robert Hepler. After a consultation, he wrote me a letter...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 12-08-2006 07:01 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 3,097
    12-15-2006 09:03 AM Go to last post
  32. Hit da f ball

    Swing thoughts for a better game:lmfao http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oDW7if7rgw

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 12-29-2006 04:13 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 3,149
    12-29-2006 05:26 PM Go to last post
  33. look out seagull

    look out seagull http://www.livevideo.com/video/1A58097ECAED490C9CCAC593B436A71A/bad-golfer.aspx

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 01-06-2007 08:43 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,115
    01-06-2007 08:43 PM Go to last post
  34. Ouch-Trust your golf patner

    Ouch-Trust your golf patner http://www.livevideo.com/video/5A74169AEC1B45FAA9786B2DAD7031E7/funny-videos---golf-accident.aspx

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 01-06-2007 08:44 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,229
    01-07-2007 07:10 AM Go to last post
  35. Just in time for Christmas

    New golf book - just in time for Xmas. > > Table of Contents: > > Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt >

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 12-21-2007 04:36 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,812
    12-21-2007 04:36 PM Go to last post
  36. It's all about technique


    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 03-18-2008 06:15 AM
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 6,233
    04-30-2008 12:38 PM Go to last post
  37. Talking My next purchase-A must read

    :-) Subject: Golf Book Many of you may not know it, but I have been very busy over the last 4 years putting my thoughts and ideas together in a book. I am very proud of the results and to assist with the marketing, I am asking friends and family to help me out. I believe my new book on...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 06-10-2009 04:33 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 5,600
    06-12-2009 08:10 PM Go to last post
  38. Who'll be dancing today?

    :-) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwGZ8gmF4Ek/

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 04-14-2019 08:51 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 402
    04-14-2019 04:32 PM Go to last post
  39. Doc is on the way

    A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for minute, picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. ...

    Started by cleek‎, 09-07-2010 10:03 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,241
    09-07-2010 10:03 AM Go to last post
  40. David Feherty classics

    A few choice Dave Feherty quotes are below. If you watch golf on TV, he's often an announcer with a distinct Northern Ireland accent and a colorful way of putting things, . . . so to speak. Feherty Quotes: "Fortunately, Rory McIlroy is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the...

    Started by cleek‎, 05-11-2013 09:23 AM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 16,644
    07-21-2015 01:14 PM Go to last post
  41. Seve and the fruit cake incident

    more of a story not a joke , but a good chuckle none the less https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I7EGnzYRiU

    Started by cleek‎, 04-22-2018 08:33 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,026
    04-22-2018 09:28 AM Go to last post
  42. Funny Golf Pics And Videos

    Golf course on an aircraft carrier, mini golf, and more. The woman kissing her trophy made me laugh out loud. http://quick-content.com/?p=173

    Started by codytaylor‎, 08-25-2009 11:22 PM
    funny, funny golf, funny golf pics, golf, golf funny
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 6,065
    07-19-2011 07:32 AM Go to last post
  43. The Shortest Fairy Tale

    Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said "No." And the guy lived happily ever after and went golfing a lot. THE END

    Started by Colby‎, 08-22-2005 11:24 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 3,293
    09-27-2006 11:13 AM Go to last post
  44. Names for Golf Shots

    A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect A Rodney King - Over Clubbed An OJ Simpson - somehow got away with it A sister in law - up there, but I know that I shouldn't be A Paula Radcliffe - ugly but a good runner A Kate Moss - a bit thin Punching Gerry Adams - hitting a provisional...

    Started by Colby‎, 02-08-2006 12:17 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 16,002
    02-25-2006 09:14 AM Go to last post
  45. Winter Practice

    Here's some things to try when you are bored this winter... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBMxW9B3lpc

    Started by Colby‎, 12-10-2007 10:41 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 4,253
    12-23-2007 10:07 AM Go to last post
  46. Spike TV Darth Vader Commercial

    I don't know if anyone has seen this yet, it is really funny! http://www.spike.com/video/star-wars-shoot/2996496

    Started by Colby‎, 07-10-2010 08:46 AM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 4,968
    07-26-2010 02:16 PM Go to last post
  47. Dear Diary

    Wife’s Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I...

    Started by Coreythebody‎, 07-25-2011 10:44 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,927
    07-25-2011 10:44 AM Go to last post
  48. ck this out

    Anyone wanna go half with me? http://cgi.ebay.ca/BETTINARDI-DASS-LEFT-HANDED-BB-2-DREAMWEAVER-SPIDER-WEB_W0QQitemZ7221966627QQcategoryZ115280QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    Started by covanant‎, 03-01-2006 06:46 PM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 4,755
    03-07-2006 11:27 PM Go to last post
  49. The ho scale

    The club ho scale: 3 seperate classes of ho's Class A=The collector,one who buys as much as he or she can,simply to store. Class B=The player who relies on new models/technology in hope of improving his/her score. Class C=The player who cant resist the allure of shiny new gear,thus never...

    Started by covanant‎, 03-17-2006 04:41 PM
    • Replies: 28
    • Views: 11,639
    09-15-2006 10:04 PM Go to last post
  50. Far far away

    A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit. Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you."! Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here along time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Man: "It's been ten years!" With this...

    Started by crissy‎, 10-15-2005 05:30 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,296
    10-15-2005 05:30 AM Go to last post

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