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Forum: Humour

Make me laugh

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: PG rated jokes only please

    In this forum we want PG rated jokes only. If you can't tell it at the dinner table, please don't tell it here.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 11-20-2005 06:05 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 21,761
    11-20-2005 06:05 AM Go to last post
  1. Understanding social distancing during this pandemic.

    Its not rocket science. We can learn from nature, even squirrels understand the concept of social distancing. :division:bulb

    Started by Slammin' Stever‎, 01-01-2021 06:55 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,690
    01-01-2021 06:55 PM Go to last post
  2. Fixing the hook

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 10-29-2020 04:17 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,849
    10-29-2020 04:17 PM Go to last post
  3. Canadian Humour

    Hey guys and gals, remember me? LOL I have started a new FB group Canadian Humour. I started it because I'm fed up with the political and conspiracy theorists destroying humour groups. I moderated this place for 25 years so I figured what the...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 09-15-2020 07:06 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,971
    09-15-2020 07:06 PM Go to last post
  4. Don't take this these times we all need a laugh! this is a joke.

    How do you practice social distancing on a golf course? Righty's only invite your left handed golfing buddy for a round of golf. Search for only your ball off the tee. (even if it is in the rough ) Do not share a power cart....Walk (the odds are you will be on opposites sides of the...

    Started by Slammin' Stever‎, 03-29-2020 09:52 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 9,511
    03-29-2020 09:52 AM Go to last post
  5. Sidney Crosby, Nathan MacKinnon golf with Paul Bissonnette, Ryan Whitney

    pretty funny golf match CAUTION , a couple of F bombs

    Started by cleek‎, 08-11-2019 01:57 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 17,201
    08-11-2019 01:57 PM Go to last post
  6. Cool Voting..

    To good not to share. THIS IS A NON PARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY All PARTIES! NOT ONLY THAT-- it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!! While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the...

    Started by mehavenomemo‎, 09-24-2015 06:26 AM
    funny, heaven, jokes, politics
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 34,806
    09-24-2015 06:26 AM Go to last post
  7. Note on the fridge

    When I came home from golfing today, the wife had left a note on the fridge: "It's not working, gone to stay with my mother. I can't take it anymore." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?

    Started by justsomeguy‎, 07-16-2015 08:59 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,908
    07-16-2015 08:59 PM Go to last post
  8. life from the seat of a tractor

    “Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong" “Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.” “A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.” “Words that soak into your ears are whispered…....not yelled.” “Meanness don't just happen overnight.”

    Started by cleek‎, 05-17-2015 07:30 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 15,056
    05-17-2015 07:30 AM Go to last post
  9. A pig tale

    A farmer had 5 female pigs and times were getting tough, so he went to the country fair to sell his pigs. At the fair, he came across a farmer who had 5 male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The two farmers lived 60 miles away from each other so...

    Started by cleek‎, 05-04-2015 11:11 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 14,052
    05-04-2015 11:51 PM Go to last post
  10. What would you do?

    Golfer's dilemna:

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 07-07-2014 04:54 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 21,583
    07-07-2014 06:05 PM Go to last post
  11. Who's laughing now!

    Had to share this, made us all chuckle this morning at the office.

    Started by habsfan‎, 07-03-2014 10:17 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 15,157
    07-03-2014 10:17 AM Go to last post
  12. Go Habs Go

    Go Habs Go:-)

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 04-17-2014 07:11 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 40
    • Views: 57,523
    05-31-2014 12:39 PM Go to last post
  13. Hollywood squares

    These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now! Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15...

    Started by cleek‎, 05-27-2014 07:07 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,419
    05-27-2014 07:07 PM Go to last post
  14. Next Generation - Let it snow, make it so

    Started by Kilroy‎, 12-08-2013 02:50 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,435
    12-08-2013 02:50 PM Go to last post
  15. Scrabble Tiles

    I’m a little worried because I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles at lunch today.. And the next trip to the washroom could spell DISASTER

    Started by bbbeam‎, 08-16-2013 01:04 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 13,940
    08-17-2013 08:06 PM Go to last post
  16. Dog For Sale

    A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shotgun shack: “Talking Dog For Sale”. He knocks and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting...

    Started by LobWedge‎, 06-19-2013 10:57 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 16,048
    08-13-2013 05:07 PM Go to last post
  17. On the bus

    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go...

    Started by cleek‎, 08-13-2013 05:05 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,202
    08-13-2013 05:05 PM Go to last post
  18. Phil's injury

    The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was...

    Started by cleek‎, 07-03-2013 04:27 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,896
    07-03-2013 04:27 PM Go to last post
  19. Fun at the Office


    Started by macspesh‎, 04-17-2013 02:46 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 14,801
    04-19-2013 09:36 AM Go to last post
  20. Shed of Doom

    I thought you’d get a kick out of this. It’s a viral forum thread about a rather fascinating build. Give it a few pages at least as it gets pretty odd as it progresses, to say the very least. :-) ...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 04-12-2013 12:33 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 15,238
    04-15-2013 07:07 PM Go to last post
  21. Bill Gates wants to make a better condom

    This is not a joke.... but the comments are certainly funny

    Started by nokids‎, 03-28-2013 01:47 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,354
    03-28-2013 01:47 PM Go to last post
  22. marriage laws

    If a company becomes incorporated, it is considered a legal ‘person’; So I was wondering.... could an individual marry a company???   The answer is yes! In the USA you can marry a company, but first you must prove you are not gay.

    Started by nokids‎, 03-27-2013 09:08 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 13,411
    03-27-2013 02:28 PM Go to last post
  23. 9 putts in a row :-)

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 02-18-2013 07:27 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,812
    02-18-2013 07:27 PM Go to last post
  24. 50 Shades of Golf

    Fourguys have been going on the same golf trip for many years. This year, Ralph'swife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Andthus he calls his buddies and tells them the bad news. Twodays later, the 3 other guys arrive at the resort to begin their yearlygolf getaway. And of...

    Started by imozzie‎, 12-20-2012 06:58 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 17,048
    01-28-2013 12:20 PM Go to last post
  25. Drivers ed

    Started by Kilroy‎, 12-07-2012 11:33 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,869
    12-07-2012 11:33 AM Go to last post
  26. Scotsman at a baseball game

    A Scotsman moves to Canada and attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run" The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN RUN".

    Started by cleek‎, 09-20-2012 03:37 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 15,270
    10-26-2012 08:44 AM Go to last post
  27. Golf Meme

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 07-26-2012 07:42 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 24,307
    07-26-2012 09:54 PM Go to last post
  28. Our father who art in heaven

    Our Father, who art in heaven hallowed be thy Name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this week our weekly rain Signed: LVM

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 07-15-2012 01:38 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 15,748
    07-17-2012 02:38 PM Go to last post
  29. Alerts to Threats in Europe

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-22-2012 06:35 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,944
    06-22-2012 06:35 AM Go to last post
  30. Rebuilding/Retooling the Leafs Read posts #11 and #16

    Started by nokids‎, 04-11-2012 01:27 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 16,614
    04-12-2012 09:05 AM Go to last post
  31. Laws of the Universe

    Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to take a leak. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. Law of Probability - The probability of...

    Started by cleek‎, 04-07-2012 07:20 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,972
    04-07-2012 07:20 AM Go to last post
  32. There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband...

    for example... A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a...

    Started by cleek‎, 03-17-2012 02:45 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 13,948
    03-29-2012 11:52 PM Go to last post
  33. a divorce story

    On the first day, Bill sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, Bill had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; put on some music and feasted...

    Started by cleek‎, 02-05-2012 09:52 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 14,948
    02-05-2012 11:30 AM Go to last post
  34. chuck norris beats jack bauer!!!

    When jack bauer lost his car keys, he tortured himslef for 30 minutes until he knew the exact location of the keys. Chuck Norris stole his keys and his car. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. The boogeyman checks his closet for Jack Bauer. Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people....

    Started by chucknorris‎, 02-20-2007 03:13 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 21,946
    12-15-2011 05:07 PM Go to last post
  35. Be strong I love you

    A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her...

    Started by cleek‎, 12-09-2011 07:37 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 14,232
    12-10-2011 06:06 AM Go to last post
  36. IT Problem

    INSTALLING SPRING... █████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE. Install delayed....please wait. Installation failed. Please try again. 404 error: Season not found. Season "Spring" cannot be located. The season you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 05-17-2011 07:03 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 14,684
    11-23-2011 04:06 AM Go to last post
  37. Play the ball as it lies

    Saw this on another golf forum and just had to share:

    Started by justsomeguy‎, 09-11-2011 10:21 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 15,939
    09-11-2011 11:20 PM Go to last post
  38. How I learned to mind my own business

    I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, And all the patients were out in the yard shouting, ' 13....13....13. ' The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see What was going on..... Some idiot poked me in the eye with...

    Started by cleek‎, 08-15-2011 11:12 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 15,753
    08-18-2011 04:16 AM Go to last post
  39. Scottish cop

    A lawyer, from London , runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow...

    Started by cleek‎, 08-15-2011 11:06 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 12,850
    08-15-2011 11:06 AM Go to last post
  40. Funny commercial from Japan

    So I'm not sure if this is in the right section but it's humorous so it should be fine. I think we all need to learn this swing:

    Started by Kyle_B‎, 05-14-2011 09:28 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 15,306
    06-30-2011 07:49 AM Go to last post
  41. Religious Differences

    A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, 'Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?' The rabbi responded, 'Yes, that is still one of our laws.' The priest then asked, 'Have you ever...

    Started by LobWedge‎, 05-17-2011 12:29 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,551
    05-17-2011 12:29 PM Go to last post
  42. best Buzz Killington yarns

    Buzz Killington: Now, here's a fellow attempting to ride a bicycle. But he's having some trouble, isn't he? And do you know why? Peter: (Sighs) Why? Buzz Killington: Because he's a Scot! (laughs) Now, who here likes a good story about a bridge? Buzz Killington: I've quite a mastery...

    Started by nokids‎, 02-27-2010 07:20 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 45,654
    04-18-2011 09:37 AM Go to last post
  43. my girlfriend caught me

    On most nights, my girlfriend and I sleep in separate rooms. She likes to have the tv on while she sleeps, i like quiet darkness. I snore, she doesn't share the bed; anyways you get the idea. The other day I took my Scotty Cameron SS Newport 2 with me to bed. I was feeling the shape of it in...

    Started by nokids‎, 11-20-2009 06:55 PM
    • Replies: 16
    • Views: 22,409
    04-17-2011 11:38 PM Go to last post
  44. can I have a little privacy please

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 03-03-2011 09:00 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 16,741
    04-12-2011 11:55 AM Go to last post
  45. Priest and a Rabbi

    A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The Rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws." The Priest then asked, "Have you ever...

    Started by cleek‎, 03-12-2011 03:05 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,381
    03-12-2011 03:05 PM Go to last post
  46. Wink Irish Confessional

    An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. When he steps in, he can't believe his eyes. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap, and a wall with a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in. "Father,...

    Started by LobWedge‎, 01-25-2011 11:40 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 15,481
    01-28-2011 08:46 AM Go to last post
  47. Cool These guys are good...

    Started by Kiwi‎, 01-12-2011 07:41 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 14,397
    01-16-2011 02:05 AM Go to last post
  48. Dont screw around with old guys golfing.....

    Started by btasse‎, 12-17-2010 05:29 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 15,582
    12-22-2010 06:02 PM Go to last post
  49. Perfect match

    They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a Chiropractor and she’s a pain in the neck. They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a funny old goat and she’s a great kidder. They’re a perfect match. . . He doesn’t have a dollar and she has no sense. They’re a...

    Started by ghaakman‎, 11-25-2010 09:41 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,230
    11-25-2010 09:41 AM Go to last post
  50. Smile Has DK moved to Aylmer??

    Click on DK:lmfao DK

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 10-28-2010 04:30 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 16,022
    10-28-2010 07:15 PM Go to last post

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