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Forum: Humour

Make me laugh

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: PG rated jokes only please

    In this forum we want PG rated jokes only. If you can't tell it at the dinner table, please don't tell it here.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 11-20-2005 06:05 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 7,477
    11-20-2005 06:05 AM Go to last post
  1. Cool Voting..

    To good not to share. THIS IS A NON PARTISAN JOKE THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY All PARTIES! NOT ONLY THAT-- it is POLITICALLY CORRECT!! While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the...

    Started by mehavenomemo‎, 09-24-2015 06:26 AM
    funny, heaven, jokes, politics
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 6,760
    09-24-2015 06:26 AM Go to last post
  2. Note on the fridge

    When I came home from golfing today, the wife had left a note on the fridge: "It's not working, gone to stay with my mother. I can't take it anymore." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?

    Started by justsomeguy‎, 07-16-2015 08:59 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,996
    07-16-2015 08:59 PM Go to last post
  3. life from the seat of a tractor

    “Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong" “Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.” “A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.” “Words that soak into your ears are whispered…....not yelled.” “Meanness don't just happen overnight.”

    Started by cleek‎, 05-17-2015 07:30 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,783
    05-17-2015 07:30 AM Go to last post
  4. A pig tale

    A farmer had 5 female pigs and times were getting tough, so he went to the country fair to sell his pigs. At the fair, he came across a farmer who had 5 male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The two farmers lived 60 miles away from each other so...

    Started by cleek‎, 05-04-2015 11:11 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,585
    05-04-2015 11:51 PM Go to last post
  5. What would you do?

    Golfer's dilemna: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0kdBDwNddc

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 07-07-2014 04:54 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 7,121
    07-07-2014 06:05 PM Go to last post
  6. Who's laughing now!

    Had to share this, made us all chuckle this morning at the office. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm2sOFa29As

    Started by habsfan‎, 07-03-2014 10:17 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,800
    07-03-2014 10:17 AM Go to last post
  7. Go Habs Go

    Go Habs Go:-)

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 04-17-2014 07:11 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 40
    • Views: 12,005
    05-31-2014 12:39 PM Go to last post
  8. Hollywood squares

    These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now! Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15...

    Started by cleek‎, 05-27-2014 07:07 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,479
    05-27-2014 07:07 PM Go to last post
  9. Next Generation - Let it snow, make it so

    Started by Kilroy‎, 12-08-2013 02:50 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,001
    12-08-2013 02:50 PM Go to last post
  10. Scrabble Tiles

    I’m a little worried because I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles at lunch today.. And the next trip to the washroom could spell DISASTER

    Started by bbbeam‎, 08-16-2013 01:04 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,266
    08-17-2013 08:06 PM Go to last post
  11. Dog For Sale

    A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shotgun shack: “Talking Dog For Sale”. He knocks and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting...

    Started by LobWedge‎, 06-19-2013 10:57 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,149
    08-13-2013 05:07 PM Go to last post
  12. On the bus

    A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go...

    Started by cleek‎, 08-13-2013 05:05 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,529
    08-13-2013 05:05 PM Go to last post
  13. Phil's injury

    The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was...

    Started by cleek‎, 07-03-2013 04:27 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,895
    07-03-2013 04:27 PM Go to last post
  14. Fun at the Office

    enjoy... http://buttonz75.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/why-never-to-ask-favours-from-the-designers/

    Started by macspesh‎, 04-17-2013 02:46 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,184
    04-19-2013 09:36 AM Go to last post
  15. Shed of Doom

    I thought you’d get a kick out of this. It’s a viral forum thread about a rather fascinating build. Give it a few pages at least as it gets pretty odd as it progresses, to say the very least. :-) ...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 04-12-2013 12:33 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 2,054
    04-15-2013 07:07 PM Go to last post
  16. Bill Gates wants to make a better condom

    This is not a joke.... but the comments are certainly funny http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/story/2013/03/26/business-gates-condom.html

    Started by nokids‎, 03-28-2013 01:47 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,719
    03-28-2013 01:47 PM Go to last post
  17. marriage laws

    If a company becomes incorporated, it is considered a legal ‘person’; So I was wondering.... could an individual marry a company???   The answer is yes! In the USA you can marry a company, but first you must prove you are not gay.

    Started by nokids‎, 03-27-2013 09:08 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,742
    03-27-2013 02:28 PM Go to last post
  18. 9 putts in a row

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNZnlcOOz00 :-)

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 02-18-2013 07:27 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,113
    02-18-2013 07:27 PM Go to last post
  19. 50 Shades of Golf

    Fourguys have been going on the same golf trip for many years. This year, Ralph'swife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Andthus he calls his buddies and tells them the bad news. Twodays later, the 3 other guys arrive at the resort to begin their yearlygolf getaway. And of...

    Started by imozzie‎, 12-20-2012 06:58 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 3,417
    01-28-2013 12:20 PM Go to last post
  20. Drivers ed

    http://boredshorts.tv/2012/12/kid-snippets-drivers-ed/

    Started by Kilroy‎, 12-07-2012 11:33 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,883
    12-07-2012 11:33 AM Go to last post
  21. Scotsman at a baseball game

    A Scotsman moves to Canada and attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run" The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN RUN".

    Started by cleek‎, 09-20-2012 03:37 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 2,899
    10-26-2012 08:44 AM Go to last post
  22. Golf Meme

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 07-26-2012 07:42 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 3,223
    07-26-2012 09:54 PM Go to last post
  23. Our father who art in heaven

    Our Father, who art in heaven hallowed be thy Name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this week our weekly rain Signed: LVM

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 07-15-2012 01:38 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,891
    07-17-2012 02:38 PM Go to last post
  24. Alerts to Threats in Europe

    The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-22-2012 06:35 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,005
    06-22-2012 06:35 AM Go to last post
  25. Rebuilding/Retooling the Leafs

    http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/showthread.php?t=1161651 Read posts #11 and #16

    Started by nokids‎, 04-11-2012 01:27 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 2,693
    04-12-2012 09:05 AM Go to last post
  26. Laws of the Universe

    Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to take a leak. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. Law of Probability - The probability of...

    Started by cleek‎, 04-07-2012 07:20 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,797
    04-07-2012 07:20 AM Go to last post
  27. There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband...

    for example... A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a...

    Started by cleek‎, 03-17-2012 02:45 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,946
    03-29-2012 11:52 PM Go to last post
  28. a divorce story

    On the first day, Bill sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, Bill had the movers come and collect his things. On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; put on some music and feasted...

    Started by cleek‎, 02-05-2012 09:52 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,389
    02-05-2012 11:30 AM Go to last post
  29. chuck norris beats jack bauer!!!

    When jack bauer lost his car keys, he tortured himslef for 30 minutes until he knew the exact location of the keys. Chuck Norris stole his keys and his car. Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. The boogeyman checks his closet for Jack Bauer. Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people....

    Started by chucknorris‎, 02-20-2007 03:13 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 7,824
    12-15-2011 05:07 PM Go to last post
  30. Be strong I love you

    A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her...

    Started by cleek‎, 12-09-2011 07:37 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,962
    12-10-2011 06:06 AM Go to last post
  31. IT Problem

    INSTALLING SPRING... █████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE. Install delayed....please wait. Installation failed. Please try again. 404 error: Season not found. Season "Spring" cannot be located. The season you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily...

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 05-17-2011 07:03 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 3,121
    11-23-2011 04:06 AM Go to last post
  32. Play the ball as it lies

    Saw this on another golf forum and just had to share: http://www.b3ta.com/links/Favourable_Lie

    Started by justsomeguy‎, 09-11-2011 10:21 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,778
    09-11-2011 11:20 PM Go to last post
  33. How I learned to mind my own business

    I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, And all the patients were out in the yard shouting, ' 13....13....13. ' The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see What was going on..... Some idiot poked me in the eye with...

    Started by cleek‎, 08-15-2011 11:12 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 3,211
    08-18-2011 04:16 AM Go to last post
  34. Scottish cop

    A lawyer, from London , runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow...

    Started by cleek‎, 08-15-2011 11:06 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,004
    08-15-2011 11:06 AM Go to last post
  35. Funny commercial from Japan

    So I'm not sure if this is in the right section but it's humorous so it should be fine. I think we all need to learn this swing:

    Started by Kyle_B‎, 05-14-2011 09:28 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,582
    06-30-2011 07:49 AM Go to last post
  36. Religious Differences

    A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, 'Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?' The rabbi responded, 'Yes, that is still one of our laws.' The priest then asked, 'Have you ever...

    Started by LobWedge‎, 05-17-2011 12:29 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,002
    05-17-2011 12:29 PM Go to last post
  37. best Buzz Killington yarns

    Buzz Killington: Now, here's a fellow attempting to ride a bicycle. But he's having some trouble, isn't he? And do you know why? Peter: (Sighs) Why? Buzz Killington: Because he's a Scot! (laughs) Now, who here likes a good story about a bridge? Buzz Killington: I've quite a mastery...

    Started by nokids‎, 02-27-2010 07:20 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 12,804
    04-18-2011 09:37 AM Go to last post
  38. my girlfriend caught me

    On most nights, my girlfriend and I sleep in separate rooms. She likes to have the tv on while she sleeps, i like quiet darkness. I snore, she doesn't share the bed; anyways you get the idea. The other day I took my Scotty Cameron SS Newport 2 with me to bed. I was feeling the shape of it in...

    Started by nokids‎, 11-20-2009 06:55 PM
    • Replies: 16
    • Views: 6,354
    04-17-2011 11:38 PM Go to last post
  39. can I have a little privacy please

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 03-03-2011 09:00 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 2,928
    04-12-2011 11:55 AM Go to last post
  40. Priest and a Rabbi

    A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The Rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws." The Priest then asked, "Have you ever...

    Started by cleek‎, 03-12-2011 03:05 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,345
    03-12-2011 03:05 PM Go to last post
  41. Wink Irish Confessional

    An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. When he steps in, he can't believe his eyes. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap, and a wall with a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in. "Father,...

    Started by LobWedge‎, 01-25-2011 11:40 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 3,016
    01-28-2011 08:46 AM Go to last post
  42. Cool These guys are good...

    http://www.youtube.com/user/Everyshotimaginable

    Started by Kiwi‎, 01-12-2011 07:41 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,829
    01-16-2011 02:05 AM Go to last post
  43. Dont screw around with old guys golfing.....

    http://www.thevog.net/forum/off-topic-60/ot-what-not-to-do-on-a-golf-carts/

    Started by btasse‎, 12-17-2010 05:29 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 3,213
    12-22-2010 06:02 PM Go to last post
  44. Perfect match

    They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a Chiropractor and she’s a pain in the neck. They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a funny old goat and she’s a great kidder. They’re a perfect match. . . He doesn’t have a dollar and she has no sense. They’re a...

    Started by ghaakman‎, 11-25-2010 09:41 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,375
    11-25-2010 09:41 AM Go to last post
  45. Smile Has DK moved to Aylmer??

    Click on DK:lmfao DK

    Started by Chieflongtee‎, 10-28-2010 04:30 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 2,497
    10-28-2010 07:15 PM Go to last post
  46. dog for sale

    A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talkin Dawg Fer Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever...

    Started by cleek‎, 10-25-2010 08:34 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,207
    10-25-2010 08:34 AM Go to last post
  47. My favorite TV commercial in recent memory

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bevJr3Ra84Q :lmfao:lmfao:lmfao:lmfao:lmfao

    Started by rezadue‎, 10-14-2010 08:29 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,056
    10-14-2010 08:49 PM Go to last post
  48. Airbags are dangerous!

    http://www.break.com/index/awesome-russian-airbag-explosion This is hilarious...

    Started by Hearzy‎, 08-25-2010 09:30 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,427
    08-25-2010 09:30 PM Go to last post
  49. Talking Potty Putter.. too funny

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp5FAbJvUEY&feature=player_embedded

    Started by The Saint‎, 08-22-2010 09:47 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,333
    08-22-2010 09:59 AM Go to last post
  50. Husband down

    Rick and Julie are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. Rick picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks Julie 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies. 'Put them back, we can't afford them demands Julie, and so they carry on...

    Started by cleek‎, 08-16-2010 09:11 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,485
    08-18-2010 11:48 AM Go to last post

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