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Thread: Words we can't take back
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10-27-2005 02:08 PM #1
Words we can't take back
Ever wish that you could immediately take the words back...or that you
could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few women who
did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I
looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to
laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked
away. To this day, my Sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold
of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just
as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was
deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what
they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of
the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door
closed behind me were screams of laughter.
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow -- but don't get
any....a true story.
We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's
that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they
were laughing so hard!
Rich
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