A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

-Have you any grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
- No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
- It made of concrete.
-I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
- No, we have carport, and not needo ne.
-I mean. What are your relations like?
-All my relations still in Poland.
- Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
- We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
-Does your wife beat you up?
- No, I always up before her.
- Is your wife a nagger?
- No, she white.
-Why do you want this divorce?
- She going to kill me.
- What makes you think that?
- I got proof.
- What kind of proof?
- She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put*on shelf in bathroom.

I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover".