Homesick Gopher - a putted ball that goes straight in without using the lip.

Cellophane Bridge - a putt that goes right over top of the hole.

Grow hair / Grow fangs / Hit a House / Deploy The Chute - what you yell at a putt that needs to slow down
In Northern Ontario - Hit a Moose is popular

Do you eat with those hands? / First day with the new hands? ... said to your buddy after he hits a particularly bad chip or putt

It's a condom ... it's up there and safe but you don't like it

Human rain delay ... a slow player or waiting while a player takes a leak

Write when you get work ... spoken to a putt that has just past the hole and is still going hard

Red ass ... murdering the next tee shot after just missing a short bogey putt on the previous hole

A little light in the loafers ... hit a putt too easy

Loft ... lack of f**king talent. as in what's your problem - loft!

Thank the monkeys ... said when golfer benefits from hitting a tree

I see you played a little float on that shot (or) next time less fade/draw and more float ... said to golfer who skims shot off a water hazard to safety/shot skips on water hazard before drowning

Cart path golf ... look to see which side of the fairway the cart path runs. for cart path only days or when you drive it near the cart path

Pitching wood ... said as partner skies their drive

Got my putter stuck in my bra ... said when leaving the putt short or way off line

Wearing your wife's undies today?... said when a man leaves a putt short

Just like a teenager, it went off in your hands ... said to playing partner who just blasted a putt 8 feet past the hole

One in a row ... after you finally hit a decent shot

We knew there was a hole somewhere ... after someone in you foursome finally sinks a putt

Put some hair around it... When he can't find the hole

Juan es alto ... another saying after someone skies a ding "fore"

Shank you! ... shank you very much.

I've got my veggie game today ... said to your playing partners when your game is lifeless and shows little sign of a pulse. could also be said when you "dribble" one off the tee.

Oh the humanity! ... what you yell after an extremely bad shot

A.M.F. ... ball gone out of bounds is "Adios Mother F**ker!

Does your husband play golf ... said to a male player after his putt comes up short

Better throw a provisional. ... when your partner angrily throws a club but it's not in the fairway.

Gargle peanutbutter ... when someone chokes

Houston... we have a problem ... for very high tee shots

Mother-in-law putt ... nothing but lip

That'll play ... what your playing partner says when you hit the ball, but not all that well

Lpga putt ... goes both ways

Honeymoon putt ... goes off in your hands

Alice ... a putt that comes up short, golfer has no b***s

Lawrence of Arabia ... you (or your buddy) has been in the sand all day!

Casual golf ... what does not land in the fairway is regarded as casual water

Leaving nothing in you bag ... when you (or a buddy) swings so hard, you do a 360, and almost auger yourself into the ground

Army golf ... left-right-left-right...

Blew by you ... you hit your drive past your buddies and call it a linda ronstat "blew by you"

Fore lord! ... your partner yells this after you hitting a ball a mile in the air

USA ... "you shoot again" or "your still away" usually said after someone blows a putt way past the hole and he is still out

Rommell ... hit from one sand trap into another sand trap

Third world putt ... just one more revolution!

Into the kitty litter with all the other sh**! ... a bad one into the trap

Boy, this course is hard! ... what say after whiffing the ball completely

Having a golf experience ... standing over the ball way to long

On the dance floor but can't hear the music ... the wrong side of a very large green

Yank it & spank it ... fast play golf

Life is a beach ... hit into a sand trap

Screwin' a fat one ... chunking the ball, rolling all the way, and ending up 12 inches from the pin. You weren't very proud of it, but it sure feels good!!

Victory lap... All-around good putt ... Dolly Parton ... a putt which uses all of the cup before falling into the hole

NBA 3-pointer - shot holed out on the fly

Acne scars - Lunar landscape- unrepaired ball marks on green

Getting your money's worth - Many strokes

Brother-in-law - best-ball partners helping each other out really well

Bleached skull - ball in sand

Hit a 3-wood - what you say to somebody who's got a really long putt

Mexican hat dance - Refers to lots of spike marks around the hole

Thank you, Mr. Nicklaus - what you say to person who just gave you an unsolicited tip

In Jail - deep in the trees with no shot out

Australian rules - playing winter rules in the summer (because it's winter in Australia.)

Sansabelt Tour - the PGA Senior Tour

Good punt - Hit one straight up in the air

Pop to short, grounder to third, etc. - Baseball metaphors for bad shots

Home run - Hit one over everything & out of bounds

Worm Burner - A shot going a long way on the ground

Cup Sucker - Ball rims around the hole a few times and does not fall.

Flop-flop - birdie (sound of bird's wings going flop-flop)

Here's lookin' at you, kid - refers to a bogey (of course)

Run it out - pop up off the tee

Touch 'em all - drive hit ob