Addicted to Golf

[Kilroy]

"Hi my name is Bill and I'm a Golfer..."
While some like to debate whether golf is a game or a sport, I'm debating whether golf is a sport or a drug.

From The Addiction Research Foundation here are 10 indicators of an addiction

• Unusual flare-ups or outbreaks of temper (every second shot)
  
• Association with known substance abusers (other golfers)
  
• Constantly spending money on achiving more, better "highs"
  
• Flying to foreign countries to find the best "stuff"
  
• Uncharacteristically passive behavior; or combative and argumentative behavior
  
• Gradual development of dysfunction, especially in job performance or school work
  
• Availability and consumption of subsance becomes the focus of social or professional activities
  
• Abrupt changes in work or school attendance, quality of work, work output, grades, discipline
  
• Impaired interpersonal relationships; troubled marriage, unexplainable termination of deep relationships, alienation from close family members
  
• Significant changes in sleeping and waking hours (i.e. waking up at 6:00AM on Saturday mornings)
  

Denial:
I am NOT addicted. I can stop any time I want. Really. No, really I could -if I wanted to. Just to prove I have some will power left, I'm not going to subscribe to the Golf Channel. At least not until October.

It seems that when I need a higher fix on golf I know I can go to someone that can give me something better. He's a local guy. They call him "The Pro". He usually has some pretty good stuff for me to try.

20 signs YOU could be "Addicted to Golf"
1. Your idea of a good time is staying home and watching the British Open on a Saturday night.
2. You curse the game only to play it the next day.
3. You haven't puked from seeing the same faces regularly for four and half hours.
4. You see your drive ahead of everyone else and talk about it for a week.
5. You secretly wish evil on your flightmates.
6. A golf store has a magnetic effect on your walk.
7. You cringe when your better half asks you if you have anything to do on Sunday.
8. Your golf attire becomes your everyday wear.
9. Your toilet seat gets covered with a stack of golf books and magazines.
10. You make small practice swings inside the church while hearing mass.
11. You smile even if you lose the weekend Nassau, then proceed to bang your head to the wall inside the shower.
12. You can open a video store with the number of golf tapes you own.
13. Ten inches of rain has no effect on your decision to play.
14. When your playing partner says he sees lightning, your reply is "what lightning?"
15. You go to the practice range and try to give golf tips to the person on the next stall.
16. Tell the same person you read the tip from David Leadbetter's book, after realizing that you were talking to the club pro.
17. Your bumper sticker reads: MY OTHER CAR IS A GOLF CART.
18. People in your family get their supply of sunscreen from you when they go swimming.
19. You get burned by the sun and you're proud of it.
20. You took the time to read this.

Analysis

• When you stop playing golf, if you wake up at night in a cold sweat and you can't breath until you swing a club, you're probably addicted.
  
• If when the boss is really on your case and all you can think of is getting to the first tee, golf is a coping mechanism.
  
• If all you can think of is golf, even while you are having fun, you are probably obsessed. Of course none of this applies if you can make a living at it. Then you are just a pro.
  
• Whatever you do, stay away from counselors, analysts, et. al. An addiction is whatever they can bill for
  
• Don't worry. I understand there's a new 18-step program available now to help us deal with it.
  

Addicted to Golf
To the tune of Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love"

You hit the draw
Get up and down
Your putter's gone to town
You save from sand
You stick a flop
You've played 18, but you can't stop

You can't get on
You can't get home
You're mind's not in the zone
Your wedge shanks
Your putter yips
You end up slicing from the tips

Chorus:
You'd like to think you can get out of the rough
Oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you're gonna duff
You know you're gonna have to face it
YOU'RE ADDICTED TO GOLF
You might as well face it, you're addicted to golf
Might as well face it you're addicted golf
You know you're gonna have to face it
YOU'RE ADDICTED TO GOLF

You spray it left
You spray it right
It's in the trees, it's out of sight
You take 6
You're seeing red
You hit your putter with your head

You don't come through
Your swing's too steep
There's no doubt, you're in deep
You punch it out
You sink your pitch
That's net 2, sonofa*!

Chorus

Repeat first verse, Chorus, repeat and fade...

[kerisb]

I know this is an old thread but just read it and thought it deserved to be revived especially since it is November and some of us will be going through withdrawals soon!!!!!

[Driverdave]

As a boy when my father first watch me learn to skate and spent endless hours and time to help improve my game of hockey which when I was very little I was not to fussy about the extreme cold outdoors.It was the love for the game as he seen me attempt even playing road hockey during snow storms. The game of golf however has to stretch over a longer period of time to see if someone is really hooked.! The biggest drive that people look at is the improvement year after year in score, distance in shots and the learning of each courses profile of holes. Keeping score cards is a important , it is like a log - book that will show in the future how far your game has come.Vast improvements in short time periods is what causes a obession with wanting to play more and more.!To beat that last score and playing that same course.To answer your thread ,addiction no ,to beat your previous best score is considered more of a objective,thus in the back of your mind coming close to either tie or beating that score.Besides, most people would agree that if this was a Addiction , it sure is better then other addictions which help from a professional may be needed imediately!

Keep going Kerry,rewards come with practice.!