For Good Players Whose Scores Would Reflect Their Ability If Only They Got A Lucky Break Once In A While.
1. A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled in the rough. Such veering to the right or to the left frequently results from the friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball, and the player should not be penalized for erratic behavior of the ball resulting from uncontrollable mechanical phenomena. 2. A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed *not* to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and there is no place for luck in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled had it not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably from atop a nice tuft of grass for having been so inconvenienced.

3. There shall be *no such thing* as a lost ball. The missing ball is somewhere nearby and will eventually be found by someone. It thus becomes a *stolen* ball and the player should not compound a felony by charging himself with a penalty stroke.

4. A ball in a bunker rolling backward toward the player may be hit again on the roll without counting an extra stroke. No more than two strokes are to be counted when playing from a bunker since it is reasonable to assume that if the player had time enough to concentrate on her shot instead of hurrying it so as not to delay her playing partners and dozens of foursomes behind her she would have been out in two anyway.

5. If a putt passes over the hole without dropping it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop. The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.

6. A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as "you could blow it in" may be blown in. This rule does not apply if the ball is more than three inches from the hole, because no one wants to make a travesty of the game.

7. There is no penalty for a so-called "out of bounds" shot. If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not be a problem. The golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

8. There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard. Golf balls should float. The fact that they do not is a technological problem that the manufacturers have not yet overcome. Again, the golfer should not be punished for someone else's shortcomings.

9. Advertisements constantly proclaim that golf scores can be markedly improved by purchasing the newest clubs, balls, shoes, and other golfing accessories. Since this is financially impossible for the average golfer, 1/2 stroke per hole may be subtracted from the score for using old equipment.

10. The score a player reports on any hole should be regarded as his opening offer and may be changed to reflect the number that he or she best feel reflects his or her skill level.