A Memorable Tale

[LobWedge]

Hi All,

I've been busy studying for the last while, and I came up with a short story to help me remember the Rules of Golf, in order. I hope it helps you too.


One day, I read about a game called Golf, and how it has two basic forms of play, Match Play, and Stroke Play. I thought, “this sounds cool, I’m gonna try it.”

So the next day, I went out and bought some clubs and balls. Now, I was a player! (or at least I would be after some practice) I headed for the local driving range and began to pound away. It was tough, and people were trying to help me, but I was stubborn. I wouldn’t take any advice. Everyone was feeding me lines about what direction to play, or how to play any number of strokes. Stop giving me orders, I just want to play.

So finally, after a lot of time at the range, I headed to the course. Putting that first tee in the ground felt great, and my first shot was like a thing of magic. It felt great! Watching the ball sail through the air, up and over a hill, I thought to myself, “this is the game I’ve been searching for. Something I can really identify with.” I walked off the tee, ready for my next adventure.

I saw a ball lying in the rough. “I can play it from this lie, no problem”, I said. I took a big swing, striking the ball as hard as I could. It flew long and far, landing in the middle of the fairway. There's no substitute for that feeling. But when I got up to where the ball was, I took a closer look, and it wasn't my ball. I was playing a Titleist, and this was a Taylor Made. So much for my great start.

Back I went to look for my ball. And there it was, a few yards ahead of where the other ball was. I made sure it was mine this time. My next shot carried all the way to the green, finishing what looked to be fairly close to the flagstick. Awesome! I walked up to the green and set my bag down. I pretended that I was on Tour, and I was tipping my cap and waving to the imaginary crowd. Dumb move. I accidentally kicked my ball when I was goofing around. I placed it back as close to where I thought it was to begin with, and I prepared to hit my first putt. The ball rolled smoothly off the putter, but it was rolling too fast. It rolled past the hole and down a slope off the green, deflecting off my bag, and bouncing back on the edge of the green. I dropped my putter in disbelief. Once the situation had sunk in, I bent over to pick up my putter. As I grabbed it to lift it, I dropped it in exactly the same place again. I was in the wrong place mentally. Flustered, for sure. “Okay”, I thought “take a deep breath and start with a clean ball, and a clean slate.”

As I’m getting ready to putt, I hear “FORE!” A ball comes flying in and lands on the green, rolling towards where I’m standing, stopping just behind my ball on the fringe. Now I can’t play if I want to, because his ball is interfering with mine, and mine's right on his line. I might hit his ball too. What next?! After a couple of minutes, the other player arrives. “I’m really sorry about that”, he says. “No problem”, I reply “it didn’t hit me.” He introduces himself, and asks if I want to join him for the rest of the round. I accept. Yay, someone to help show me the ropes!

He bends over to clear some leaves right behind his ball. Under the leaves is a round, plastic disc, embedded in the fringe. “Hey, a sprinkler head. I get relief from that”, he says. He marks the position of his ball with a tee, lifts it, cleans it, and drops it nearby. I’m not exactly sure what he just did, but I’ll wait until later to ask, so I don’t interrupt him. He hits his shot to about 10 feet from the hole.

Now it’s my turn to play. As I’m getting ready, I notice a groundhog come out of his hole nearby. Not necessarily “abnormal” if you live where I do, but definitely out of place on such a beautiful golf course, and definitely a problem if your ball were to go in there or get stuck in the soft earth around it.

Anyhow, I chip my ball to within 5 feet of the hole. “Nice shot”, my new friend says. I walk up and carefully mark my ball so he can putt. It’s a beauty! Right in the heart of the hole. “Great putt!”, I say. “Thanks” he says sarcastically, “it only took me 15 holes to finally make one.” I’m perplexed. “Fifteen holes? How can that be? I just started my round.” “This is the sixteenth hole. You’re on the wrong green. The first green is over there”, he replies, pointing across the other side of a huge pond to a flag in the distance. “Great, now what do I do?!”, I spout. “That’s up to you, but whatever you do, don’t hit your next shot from on this green. Pick up your ball and drop it off the green over there.” He points to a spot close by. “Listen, I really have to get going. Nice meeting you. Good luck with the rest of your round.” I’m thinking, “good luck nothing. It’s gonna take a miracle to get over that pond. This water looks hazardous.”

So, I drop my ball off the green, and I set up for my next shot. Swinging as hard as I can, my ball takes off like a rocket, but it starts to turn left towards a large stand of trees left of the green. “Please, please,” I implore, “don’t go in too deep! All I need now is to have to hire a guide and buy provisions for the search…Provisions?! Wow, that was out of bounds, I must be losing it,” I laugh to myself. I pick up my bag and begin the trek around the pond to search for my ball. Leave it to me to make such a beautiful course look unplayable.

(At this point, I should mention that my story takes a weird turn for a couple of minutes. As I’m walking to where my ball should be, I cross paths with another group of players, talking amongst themselves in what seems to be some foreign language or code. All I can remember is that some guy was in a threesome, or foursome, and he had three or four of the best balls you’ll ever see, and they matched! But then I think one of them said he had a stroke. No surprise with four balls! I’m pretty sure his name was Stableford, or something like that. What a committee of fools!)

Anyhow, back to my trials… I reach the trees and I find my ball in the rough, just short of them. Whew! Thankful that I don’t have to go searching, I hit my next shot on to the green (the right one this time). Finally, one down, seventeen more to go! I lined up my putt. It felt so nice coming off the putter, as it curled across the slope and into the bottom of the cup. “Boom!”, I yelled.

It took me a while to figure out what my score was, but I had the rest of the round to figure that out. I’m happy to say that the rest of the round wasn’t as crazy as the first hole. There’s no dispute, I’ve decided that, all things considered, golf is a pretty cool game!

[gbower]

Just remind me not to play a round of golf with you Rich !!!!! Well done.

[NoBack]

excellent post Rich
didnt we all start that way
love the "this is the 16th hole"

[LobWedge]

Thanks. Don't know if you noticed or not, but all the highlighted terms hyperlink to the appropriate Rule.

[NoBack]

Wasnt that whole idea of the post?
Not sure how many links there are but I would image the same number as the number of rules??

[LobWedge]

Wasnt that whole idea of the post?
Not sure how many links there are but I would image the same number as the number of rules??

That is correct sir. 34 to be exact.

[mpare]

Rich, how many bottles of wine did you consume while drafting this story?

[LobWedge]

Rich, how many bottles of wine did you consume while drafting this story?

LOL! Around one glass actually. It only took me about 1/2 an hour to write.