using chuck norris jokes as a template.

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-according to wikipedia, the single greatest cause of land erosion is Tiger Woods' pitching wedge.

-greenpeace has tried to assassinate Tiger Woods on many occasions; but Stevie Williams smells those hippies from a mile away.

-To get the job, Tiger Woods made Stevie Williams kill a fellow caddy - just to prove his loyalty.

-Tiger Woods' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Tiger Woods does not take s.... from anyone.

-Just messing around one day, Tiger figured out how to hit a "flop putter" shot, but he won't use it in a tournament, because he's afraid it will just "freak everybody out."

-Tiger Woods doesn't read greens, he just stares at them until he gets the information he wants.

-Tiger Woods always has sex on the first date. Always.

-Tiger Woods doesn't use pickup lines. He simply says "Now!"

-If you want a list of Tiger Woods' enemies, just check the extinct species list.