deep thoughts by jack handy

[nokids]

http://www.jumpstation.ca/recroom/comedy/handy.html

Ah deep thoughts, they take me back to the days when SNL used to be funny. My favorite deep thought of all time is:

I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the ground as she falls over, is like the top thing you can do.

[nokids]

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.


If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

[Bravesox]

caa caa said the crow..........
dont know why i rememebr that one

[jeffc]

isn't it sad when a family is torn apart.....by a pack of wolves...

[nokids]

i had a deep thought/observation this morning.

i find it hilarious watching people miss the bus. especially when these people run after the bus, flail their arms in the air, wave their transfer tickets or bus pass in a vain attempt at getting the driver to stop. he obviously sees them, so why do they need to be all dramatic like that? they are just making fools of themselves, like my coworker who chased a bus and tripped and fell, gashing her knees and hands. god what a maroon. anyway, i thought it would be great comedy for someone to make a montage, a highlight reel if you will, of people chasing down the bus and failing to get on. i'd like the camera to zoom in on their faces as they let go of profanities. did "just for laughs" do something like this? i think it would be right up their alley. it's not nice to laugh at others' misfortunes, but come on, couldn't these people have woken up a little bit earlier? cracks me up.