The Nurturing of Children

[mpare]

Today's CBC The Current featured an interview with Po Bronson, who published a book entitled Nurture Shock: New Children About Children. The interview is fascinating. I just listened to it as a podcast available on the CBC ( http://www.cbc.ca/thecurrent/2009/200911/20091106.html ). His point is that parents' instincts are oftentimes wrong. For example, telling your kids that they are smart! The points that he makes are sometimes counter-intuitive. That said, when I had a chance to carefully think about what he was saying, I think he's right. I can't wait to read the book. If you're interested in this issue, have a listen to the CBC podcast.

[jvincent]

I haven't heard the podcast but I've heard discussions about the book and I have to agree. There is WAAAAY too much emphasis on building up children's self-esteem.

Children need to learn how to handle failure or they will simply not be prepared for the real world where not everyone wins and not everyone is a special flower. This doesn't mean you need to belittle your kids, but they do need to know that if they don't try hard that someone out there is going to do better than them.

You're too old to have seen this in school with your kids Mike but it's appalling to see how much coddling kids get these days (no failing, everyone gets a star, parents doing their project for them, etc). And the kicker is that this has happened because the parents ask for it! The teachers are pretty much powerless.

Not too worry though, my kids are being trained right.

[jonf]

I agree completely with this guy - the degree of coddling that goes on in our society is absurd. Everyone is special, everyone is smart, everyone can be president. It's preposterous...you're just preparing your kids to fail. There is nothing wrong with mediocrity - realistically, that's what most of us are, and that is FINE. Right now we're creating a generation of self-righteous people who think that their opinion is just as valuable and accurate as everyone else's, because they're just as smart as everyone else. It's ridiculous. While everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, they are not all right, and they are not all equally valuable. Sometimes, you are wrong, no matter how much mommy told you otherwise.

I don't necessarily think parent's instincts are wrong. Parents nowadays have been conditioned to ignore their instincts. I mean, if you think about it, this has only become an issue in the past 20 years. Before that, parents followed their instincts and dealt with issues head on, with a certain degree of honesty, in hopes of preparing their children for the real world. It's only in the last few years that we have been conditioned to ignore this instinct, and instead coddle children, which essentially only prepares them to fail.

Sorry for the rant, but I am very afraid of the world I am going to be living in for the next 60 years.

[Sakuraba]

I listened to the interview on the drive in to work this morning. It was interesting for sure. He slammed the Baby Einstein fairly hard (I smell a lawsuit). An interesting point he made was that kids today aren't getting enough sleep, & that is the major contributing factor for childhood obesity.

[jvincent]

Didn't Baby Einstein get sued recently for false advertising? I hadn't heard the lack of sleep and obesity link before.

To me the biggest thing that has been taken away from kids today is competition. When I was growing up the sports leagues all kept score and there were try-outs (with cuts) all the way down. If you got cut it meant you weren't good enough to play at that level and you either sucked it up and tried harder or you played at the lower level. There is nothing wrong with that.

While I'm at it, the other one the bugs the hell out of me is the whole "zero tolerance" policy in schools. In the old days if there was a child who was a PITA chances are he would get beat up a couple of times (not badly) at recess and that was that. These days the real brats can get away with murder at school because they know that there are no consequences. There were two of these kids at my son's school that the principals and teachers knew all about but could never do anything about.

Of course, the parents were of the mind that there child was an angel and could do no wrong. In 1975 a little bit of recess justice would have fixed their attitude very quickly.

[Kilroy]

In 1975 a little bit of recess justice would have fixed their attitude very quickly.

True that!

[mpare]

For those of you with an interest in this subject, the following copy of a post that I penned for TGN may be of interest"

"I know that this topic generated no interest early, but it should have. This book is critically important not just to parents but to educators and others as well. The following quote from an email to a friend of mine explains my point. Keep in mind that this is from only one very small section of the book.

I have been reading Nurture Shock, and it is even better than I had anticipated. Quite apart from its utility for parents, it should
be mandatory reading for all educators and school boards. I'll give you one
example to whet your appetite. You will recall my mentioning the importance of sleep (something which I don't get enough of). It turns out that lack of sleep not only affects (adversely) one's emotional and psychological state, but it also impairs in children and teens their brain function. As it turns out, the brain is forming physical connections during sleep that facilitate the storage and recollection of facts ... As well the lack and the kind of sleep one actually gets affects which parts of the brain store information. Lack of sleep in children and teens facilitates the storage of unpleasant facts, but not those that are either pleasant or neutral. Through a glass darkly anyone!

The studies underlying the previous revelations convinced at least two school boards in the USA to move their high school start times from 7:25 to 8:30. It doesn't sound like much, but every 15 minutes of sleep is valuable. The results for one school were startling. In the previous year the math/verbal SAT scores of the Edina school's top 10% of its 1,600 students were 685/605. A year later the top 10% averaged 739/761!

Why, you might ask, are all school boards not adopting this small measure. Simply put, because school scheduling is fixed not for the benefit of the kids we educate, but for the adults - a sad statement indeed.

One other not insignificant benefit of of the delayed start time is that in Lexington (another community that adopted this approach) the rate of teen car accidents was 25% lower compared to the rest of the state.

Add to this the radical changes in teen behaviour in both of these schools and that alone is reason enough to give this serious consideration."

[sensfan63]

For those of you with an interest in this subject, the following copy of a post that I penned for TGN may be of interest"

."

Great find mpare.

For a couple of years, I have watched in amazement when I pull out of my driveway each AM - in the dark, mind you - and there are a bunch of kids standing on the street corner. At 630 AM.

????

What kid in his right mind can wake up around 545 and get ready for school? What kid can STAY AWAKE when school starts at 7 or 730?

Ridiculous.

[little brit]

Thanks Mike very interesting.

I think I should buy it for my daughter who is due in Jan.

[mpare]

Maureen, you and your daughter may well find it to be one of the best investments you ever made. Chapters carries it. I know. I bought three copies at their store in Newmarket.

Thanks Mike very interesting.

I think I should buy it for my daughter who is due in Jan.

[BC MIST]

Why, you might ask, are all school boards not adopting this small measure. Simply put, because school scheduling is fixed not for the benefit of the kids we educate, but for the adults - a sad statement indeed.

Having worked in a school with an 8:00 start time, I can confirm that a lot of the kids were slipped deprived. Since all of them came by bus and many of them came from remote rural areas, their wake up time must have been even earlier than mine, which was 5:45 am.

The early start was in effect as the school board had to coordinate bus routes for many schools, in order to keep costs down.

[mpare]

And it would appear that the corresponding physiological, psychological, emotional and intellectual costs are being borne by the very kids the schools are meant to benefit. It's time to re-examine whether money is really being saved by the state in continuing the existing practices.

.. The early start was in effect as the school board had to coordinate bus routes for many schools, in order to keep costs down.