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Thread: GOLFisms

  1. #1
    Forum Idiot Indio is on a distinguished road Indio's Avatar
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    GOLFisms

    1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk - Grantland Rice

    2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. -John Updike

    3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.. - Robert Lynd

    4.. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. - Horace G. Hutchinson

    5. They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. - Gardner Dickinson

    6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. - Sam Snead

    7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. - William Wordsworth

    8. If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

    9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt

    10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. - Bishop Sheen

    11. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced. - Arnold Palmer

    12. My handicap? Woods and irons. - Chris Codiroli

    13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. - Pete Dye

    14. I'm hitting the woods just great; but having a terrible time getting out of them! -
    Buddy Hackett

    5. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf. - Billy Graham

    16. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. -
    Jack Lemmon

    17. It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. -
    Mark Twain

    18. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon

    19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. - Jimmy DeMaret

    20. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters. - Ben Hogan

    21. If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle. - All Us Hackers

    22. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. - Lee Trevino
    Proud member of the 2009 OG/TGN Ryder Cup Champions

  2. #2
    2 Iron luigicactus is on a distinguished road
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    "Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." -- Winston Churchill

  3. #3
    Postmaster General big mac is on a distinguished road big mac's Avatar
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    " The trouble with playing golf south of the border---their cups are 20% smaller" at least that's my excuse
    Does the 2nd hole-n-one come easier ?

  4. #4
    Gap Wedge RJC is on a distinguished road RJC's Avatar
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    More Golfisms

    Thanks
    Try these too : http://www.golfisms.ca

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