Men and Women

[The Shtick]

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ
so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Mars and Venus thing.
And, I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown
into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??"
So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads.
She explains that I must not be in tune with her "emotional needs as a
Woman."
I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"
I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to
sleep.

The very next day we went shopping at a big unnamed department store...I
walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of
them.
She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 each to which I
say "OK."
And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond
earrings.
Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one
wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared.
I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she
doesn't even play tennis.
I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of this when she said, "I'm ready
to go, let's go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel
like buying all this stuff now."
You should have seen her face .... it went completely blank.
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."


Please folks, whatever you do, don't try this at home!
Hope you enjoyed!

[NoBack]

Good One Shtick!

U think with her "woman's intuition", she would have figured it out by the then..........