Talking Dog for Sale

[Kiwi]

A guy is driving around Newfoundland and he sees a sign in front of a house:

Talking Dog For Sale.

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting
there.

You talk?" he asks.
Yes, I do," the Lab replies.

So, what's your story? The Lab looks up and says, Well, I discovered
that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the
government, so I told CSIS about my gift, and in no time, at all they
had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and
world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I
was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting
any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the
airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in.

I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.

"Ten dollars," the Newfie says.

Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?

Because he's a liar. He never did any of that crap.

[Golfbum]

This dog works for IMPERIAL OIL now! As their SPOKESMAN!