Don't Lie About Yuor Handicap

[Golfbum]

If this were true I know some guys who would not make it past the 10th hole !

Subject: Golf Humor


A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free
day and wanted to play a round of golf. He was directed to a golf
course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the
course and asked the pro if he could get on.


"Sure," said the Pro, "What's your handicap?"


Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to
cut it a bit. "Well, its 16," said the businessman, "But what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone?"


"It's very important for us to know," said the pro, who then called a
caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the pro, "his handicap is 16."


The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his
handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle;
again the businessman was surprised but decided to ask no questions.


They arrived on the 1st hole, a par 4. "Please avoid those trees on the
left," said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his
ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out
when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead
from a tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the
rifle smoking in his hand. "That's the mamba, the most
poisonous snake in all Africa. You're lucky I was here with you."


After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par 5.


"Avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy. Of course, the
businessman's ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up
his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy's rifle once more and a
huge lion fell dead at his feet. "I've saved your life again," said the caddy.


The 3rd hole was a par 3 with a lake in front of the green. The
businessman's ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to
the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in
the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the
water and bit off much of his right leg.


As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy
with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly. "Why
didn't you kill it?" asked the man incredulously. "I'm sorry, sir," said
the caddy, "this is the 17th handicap hole, you don't get a shot here."

That's why you never lie about your handicap.