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Thread: Drive-Thru Bank Machine
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09-29-2006 01:36 PM #1
Drive-Thru Bank Machine
I apologize in advance to all the ladies out there......but this is just too damn funny not to post..
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
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FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake
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09-29-2006 02:07 PM #2"Richard"Guest
HAHAHAHA, bugsy get him!
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09-29-2006 02:28 PM #3
ROFLMAO in a puddle of urine. That's right, i wet myself.
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09-29-2006 04:57 PM #4
Damm--my wife just hit me up the side of the head for laughing!
Does the 2nd hole-n-one come easier ?
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09-29-2006 05:11 PM #5
Sorry big mac - same thing happened to me last week
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09-29-2006 07:30 PM #6
PRICELESS!
Proud member of the 2009 OG/TGN Ryder Cup Champions
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09-29-2006 07:33 PM #7
Hacker sweety, Indio fall perfectly into one of those, actually remove number 14, and WOW, Indio dear, remember last weekend at the bank machine
Bugsy Rules, Indio drools
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09-29-2006 07:39 PM #8
LOL!
I don't think I've laughed that hard since Chuck Norris shot a 54 with a piece of rebar and a rotten tomatoRich
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09-29-2006 07:47 PM #9Originally Posted by RichardBugsy Rules, Indio drools
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09-29-2006 07:50 PM #10Originally Posted by bugsy
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09-29-2006 07:50 PM #11Originally Posted by bugsyProud member of the 2009 OG/TGN Ryder Cup Champions
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09-29-2006 07:58 PM #12Originally Posted by NewGolferProud member of the 2009 OG/TGN Ryder Cup Champions
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09-29-2006 08:00 PM #13Originally Posted by Indio
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09-29-2006 08:03 PM #14
OK; now I want to hear the braile story
Does the 2nd hole-n-one come easier ?
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09-29-2006 08:05 PM #15Originally Posted by big macProud member of the 2009 OG/TGN Ryder Cup Champions
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09-29-2006 08:06 PM #16Originally Posted by NewGolfer
Proud member of the 2009 OG/TGN Ryder Cup Champions
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09-29-2006 08:39 PM #17Originally Posted by bugsy
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09-29-2006 08:47 PM #18Originally Posted by HackerProud member of the 2009 OG/TGN Ryder Cup Champions
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09-29-2006 08:54 PM #19Originally Posted by big mac
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09-29-2006 09:11 PM #20Originally Posted by Indio
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