You know you are addicted to golf when ...

[zoic]

You know you are addicted to golf when:

- you go to the course alone and pair up with anyone at all
- you finish 18 holes and announce to your group you are ready for 9 more
- you often get upset because you only managed to get in 4 rounds in one week
- you wish there were 6 warmup holes before playing the round
- you arrive 1 hour before tee time to practice chipping, putting, chatting
- you only know 2 seasons, outdoor golf and indoor golf
- you are still looking for a round after 6PM
- you forget to get a scorecard and don't care
- you break your shoes and finish the round in your socks
- you play regardless of any weather conditions at all
- you know all the course staff by name, and their home number

[Ditty_72]

lol, guilty

[zoic]

hahahaha, guess I should add my latest escapade.

you get a flat tire on the way to the course and still make your tee time

[Pinshark]

hahahaha, guess I should add my latest escapade.

you get a flat tire on the way to the course and still make your tee time

Without changing IT!

[kerisb]

Guilty of most of the above. Not the flat tire though.....way too expensive for tire and rim!!!!!

[Golfbum]

BUSTED

That is why I use the signin name that I use

[leftylucas]

The first step to recovery of an addiction is to admit that you have a problem, I dont have a problem with any of those. How about

You know you are a golf addict when:

You rent a power cart just to drag your 9 yr old daughter with you because you could not find a sitter for her to stay home.

[Big Johnny69]

The first step to recovery of an addiction is to admit that you have a problem, I dont have a problem with any of those. How about

You know you are a golf addict when:

You rent a power cart just to drag your 9 yr old daughter with you because you could not find a sitter for her to stay home.

Exactly. I don't have kids yet, but I have already thought about the best way to bring a baby carrier onto the golf course. Addicted, I think so!

[ironmaster15213]

You know that your addicted to golf when any vacation day that you took in the last 5 years had a golf round involved even if it was travel time to and from Canada to play golf. Can you tell I'm not married and don't plan to be????

[Sakuraba]

You replay every single stroke of your last round in your mind before you can go to sleep at night.

[Kilroy]

You start a golf website and change your life.

[Kilroy]

"Hi my name is Bill and I'm a Golfer..."
While some like to debate whether golf is a game or a sport, I'm debating whether golf is a sport or a drug.

From The Addiction Research Foundation here are 10 indicators of an addiction

• Unusual flare-ups or outbreaks of temper (every second shot)
• Association with known substance abusers (other golfers)
• Constantly spending money on achiving more, better "highs"
• Flying to foreign countries to find the best "stuff"
• Uncharacteristically passive behavior; or combative and argumentative behavior
• Gradual development of dysfunction, especially in job performance or school work
• Availability and consumption of subsance becomes the focus of social or professional activities
• Abrupt changes in work or school attendance, quality of work, work output, grades, discipline
• Impaired interpersonal relationships; troubled marriage, unexplainable termination of deep relationships, alienation from close family members
• Significant changes in sleeping and waking hours (i.e. waking up at 6:00AM on Saturday mornings)

Denial:
I am NOT addicted. I can stop any time I want. Really. No, really I could -if I wanted to. Just to prove I have some will power left, I'm not going to subscribe to the Golf Channel. At least not until October.

It seems that when I need a higher fix on golf I know I can go to someone that can give me something better. He's a local guy. They call him "The Pro". He usually has some pretty good stuff for me to try.

20 signs YOU could be "Addicted to Golf"
1. Your idea of a good time is staying home and watching the British Open on a Saturday night.
2. You curse the game only to play it the next day.
3. You haven't puked from seeing the same faces regularly for four and half hours.
4. You see your drive ahead of everyone else and talk about it for a week.
5. You secretly wish evil on your flightmates.
6. A golf store has a magnetic effect on your walk.
7. You cringe when your better half asks you if you have anything to do on Sunday.
8. Your golf attire becomes your everyday wear.
9. Your toilet seat gets covered with a stack of golf books and magazines.
10. You make small practice swings inside the church while hearing mass.
11. You smile even if you lose the weekend Nassau, then proceed to bang your head to the wall inside the shower.
12. You can open a video store with the number of golf tapes you own.
13. Ten inches of rain has no effect on your decision to play.
14. When your playing partner says he sees lightning, your reply is "what lightning?"
15. You go to the practice range and try to give golf tips to the person on the next stall.
16. Tell the same person you read the tip from David Leadbetter's book, after realizing that you were talking to the club pro.
17. Your bumper sticker reads: MY OTHER CAR IS A GOLF CART.
18. People in your family get their supply of sunscreen from you when they go swimming.
19. You get burned by the sun and you're proud of it.
20. You took the time to read this.

Analysis

• When you stop playing golf, if you wake up at night in a cold sweat and you can't breath until you swing a club, you're probably addicted.
• If when the boss is really on your case and all you can think of is getting to the first tee, golf is a coping mechanism.
• If all you can think of is golf, even while you are having fun, you are probably obsessed. Of course none of this applies if you can make a living at it. Then you are just a pro.
• Whatever you do, stay away from counselors, analysts, et. al. An addiction is whatever they can bill for
• Don't worry. I understand there's a new 18-step program available now to help us deal with it.

Addicted to Golf
To the tune of Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love"

You hit the draw
Get up and down
Your putter's gone to town
You save from sand
You stick a flop
You've played 18, but you can't stop

You can't get on
You can't get home
You're mind's not in the zone
Your wedge shanks
Your putter yips
You end up slicing from the tips

Chorus:
You'd like to think you can get out of the rough
Oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you're gonna duff
You know you're gonna have to face it
YOU'RE ADDICTED TO GOLF
You might as well face it, you're addicted to golf
Might as well face it you're addicted golf
You know you're gonna have to face it
YOU'RE ADDICTED TO GOLF

You spray it left
You spray it right
It's in the trees, it's out of sight
You take 6
You're seeing red
You hit your putter with your head

You don't come through
Your swing's too steep
There's no doubt, you're in deep
You punch it out
You sink your pitch
That's net 2, sonofa*!

Chorus

Repeat first verse, Chorus, repeat and fade...

[Big Johnny69]

You start a golf website and change your life.

We could have a winner here!

[Big Johnny69]

You replay every single stroke of your last round in your mind before you can go to sleep at night.

I try to get that out of my system during the car ride home so I CAN sleep at night.

[Kilroy]

We could have a winner here!

Are there prizes?

[Big Johnny69]

"Hi my name is Bill and I'm a Golfer..."
While some like to debate whether golf is a game or a sport, I'm debating whether golf is a sport or a drug.

From The Addiction Research Foundation here are 10 indicators of an addiction

• Unusual flare-ups or outbreaks of temper (every second shot) guilty
• Association with known substance abusers (other golfers) guilty
• Constantly spending money on achiving more, better "highs" guilty
• Flying to foreign countries to find the best "stuff"
• Uncharacteristically passive behavior; or combative and argumentative behavior guilty
• Gradual development of dysfunction, especially in job performance or school work
• Availability and consumption of subsance becomes the focus of social or professional activities
• Abrupt changes in work or school attendance, quality of work, work output, grades, discipline
• Impaired interpersonal relationships; troubled marriage, unexplainable termination of deep relationships, alienation from close family members
• Significant changes in sleeping and waking hours (i.e. waking up at 6:00AM on Saturday mornings) guilty

Denial:
I am NOT addicted. I can stop any time I want. Really. No, really I could -if I wanted to. Just to prove I have some will power left, I'm not going to subscribe to the Golf Channel. At least not until October.

It seems that when I need a higher fix on golf I know I can go to someone that can give me something better. He's a local guy. They call him "The Pro". He usually has some pretty good stuff for me to try.

20 signs YOU could be "Addicted to Golf"
1. Your idea of a good time is staying home and watching the British Open on a Saturday night. guilty
2. You curse the game only to play it the next day. guilty
3. You haven't puked from seeing the same faces regularly for four and half hours. guilty
4. You see your drive ahead of everyone else and talk about it for a week. guilty
5. You secretly wish evil on your flightmates. guilty
6. A golf store has a magnetic effect on your walk. guilty
7. You cringe when your better half asks you if you have anything to do on Sunday. guilty
8. Your golf attire becomes your everyday wear. guilty
9. Your toilet seat gets covered with a stack of golf books and magazines. guilty
10. You make small practice swings inside the church while hearing mass.
11. You smile even if you lose the weekend Nassau, then proceed to bang your head to the wall inside the shower. guilty
12. You can open a video store with the number of golf tapes you own.
13. Ten inches of rain has no effect on your decision to play.
14. When your playing partner says he sees lightning, your reply is "what lightning?"
15. You go to the practice range and try to give golf tips to the person on the next stall.
16. Tell the same person you read the tip from David Leadbetter's book, after realizing that you were talking to the club pro.
17. Your bumper sticker reads: MY OTHER CAR IS A GOLF CART.
18. People in your family get their supply of sunscreen from you when they go swimming.
19. You get burned by the sun and you're proud of it.
20. You took the time to read this. guilty

Analysis

• When you stop playing golf, if you wake up at night in a cold sweat and you can't breath until you swing a club, you're probably addicted.
• If when the boss is really on your case and all you can think of is getting to the first tee, golf is a coping mechanism.
• If all you can think of is golf, even while you are having fun, you are probably obsessed. Of course none of this applies if you can make a living at it. Then you are just a pro.
• Whatever you do, stay away from counselors, analysts, et. al. An addiction is whatever they can bill for
• Don't worry. I understand there's a new 18-step program available now to help us deal with it. Yes!

OK, so I'm addicted, what's your point?????

[Big Johnny69]

Are there prizes?

There wasn't when I passed you for the post lead, so unfortunately not.

[Big Johnny69]

Another sign you are addicted to golf:

When you celebrate passing the creator of a golf related website for total posts.

[Kilroy]

Naw, that's just being a post ho.

[Big Johnny69]

Just depends on how you view it.

[covanant]

Last year i played on my Wedding ann. day,and was late for dinner

[Golfbum]

Last year i played on my Wedding ann. day,and was late for dinner

I usually play on my wedding anniversary and my wife's B Day. But I make damn sure I play in the morning, after 24 years of marriage I know better! Quite a few years ago we stayed over at a friends house. We were all up in the morning, him and I went golfing. On the way home I said to him "I forgot something today, I can't recall what though" Suddenly it dawned on me, it was my wife's B DAY I made him detour through town so I could at least buy a card It was all good when we got home though. I charmed my way past that drastic mistake and that never happened again

[Pinshark]

I usually play on my wedding anniversary and my wife's B Day. But I make damn sure I play in the morning, after 24 years of marriage I know better! Quite a few years ago we stayed over at a friends house. We were all up in the morning, him and I went golfing. On the way home I said to him "I forgot something today, I can't recall what though" Suddenly it dawned on me, it was my wife's B DAY I made him detour through town so I could at least buy a card It was all good when we got home though. I charmed my way past that drastic mistake and that never happened again

all I can say is just in time. OOPS

["Richard"]

How about "when you have more posts on a local golf forum in one year than the owner of the site has had in the past 5 years!"

[zoic]

How about "when you have more posts on a local golf forum in one year than the owner of the site has had in the past 5 years!"

Please refer to post #19 above.

anyway, I have 18000+ in another forum, ho hum, no biggy.

[dreaded_snowman]

How about "When your entire summer wardrobe is made up of clothes purchased at the pro shop or won as door prizes at various golf tournaments,"

[em69]

You know you are addicted to golf when:

...you have trouble sleeping the night before a game .

[zoic]

Yep, trouble sleeping for sure, keep waking up to check the clock. That is the nice things about spur of the moment decisions in the middle of the day to go out to the course, no preconception of golf means a clean night sleep.

[sharkshooter]

I try to get that out of my system during the car ride home so I CAN sleep at night.

Must play at courses farther from home - a half hour doesn't seem to be enough.

Or, perhaps, fewer strokes would help.

[manitoulin]

That sounds like me after 10 beers...