Abbot and Costello on computers

[covanant]

>>You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and be too old
>>to
>>REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us
>>who
>>sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on....
>>
>>If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
>>"Who's on First?", might have turned out something like this:
>>
>>COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
>>
>>ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
>>
>>COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
>>about
>>buying a computer.
>>
>>ABBOTT: Mac?
>>
>>COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
>>
>>ABBOTT: Your computer?
>>
>>COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
>>
>>ABBOTT: Mac?
>>
>>COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
>>
>>ABBOTT: What about Windows?
>>
>>COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
>>
>>COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
>>
>>COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
>>
>>ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
>>
>>COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
>>proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Office.
>>
>>COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
>>
>>ABBOTT: I just did.
>>
>>COSTELLO: You just did what?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Recommend something.
>>
>>COSTELLO: You recommended something?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Yes.
>>
>>COSTELLO: For my office?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Yes.
>>
>>COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Office.
>>
>>COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
>>
>>ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
>>
>>COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
>>sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Word.
>>
>>COSTELLO: What word?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Word in Office.
>>
>>COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
>>
>>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>>
>>COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
>>
>>ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
>>
>>COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
>>straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
>>can
>>track my money with?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Money.
>>
>>COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Money.
>>
>>COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
>>
>>ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
>>
>>COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Money.
>>
>>COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
>>
>>COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
>>
>>ABBOTT: One copy.
>>
>>COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
>>
>>COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
>>
>>(A few days later)
>>
>>ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
>>
>>COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
>>
>>ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
>>
>>
>
>

[Golfbum]

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