Golf Truths...

[Golfer_Gofer]

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in
your mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you
can either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green
while the foursome ahead of you is still putting
out, you have two options: you can immediately shank
a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear
and top a ball halfway there.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is
to share his ideas about the golf swing
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always
possible to play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the
instant elimination of the one critical unconscious
motion that allowed you to compensate for all of
your many other errors.

If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie.
Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach
shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your
opponents luck.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt
....for an 8.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he
breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of
his own haircut.

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
It's not a gimme if you're still away.

The shortest distance between any two points on a
golf course is a straight line that passes directly
through the center of a very large tree.

There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and
bounces just the way you meant to play it.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a
two-inch branch 90% of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back
and take it up at a much earlier age.

The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth
bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group
of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will
always look down again at exactly the moment when
you ought to start watching the ball if you ever
want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must
subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore
fundamental equilibrium within the universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods
does, simply try to layup just short of a water
hazard.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your
back-swing at the top and checking the position of
your hands: how many hands you have, and which one
is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract, fairways repel.

You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade
on the ball, but no golfer can put a straight on the
ball.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away
is not yours.

If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the
bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls
are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

[Golf_Putz]

There are two things you can learn by stopping your
back-swing at the top and checking the position of
your hands: how many hands you have, and which one
is wearing the glove.

Absolutely my favourite!

[fundonny]

I don't know, some of those new putters can kill someone when you throw it. You see that new Odyssey? Looks like it can chop wood!!

Hilarious stuff!

[dH]

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is
to share his ideas about the golf swing
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always
possible to play worse.


My favourite!

[jonf]

"There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and
bounces just the way you meant to play it"

Geoff and John can bear witness to this one. "No no, my plan was to shank my driver into that tree and bounce out into the fairway to hit my first fairway of the day - its all about course management."

[jonf]

One to be added: "If you hit one drive dead centre all day, it will hit the damn tractor on #17 at Greensmere and ricochet back on to #16"

[Golfer_Gofer]

One to be added: "If you hit one drive dead centre all day, it will hit the damn tractor on #17 at Greensmere and ricochet back on to #16"

my buddy kinda did that couple weekends ago except his ball was under the tractor.....
ahhh stupid greensmere....i love to hate it... but i hate to love it

[zoic]

Just do like I do for the tractor on 17 at Greensmere, actually aim for it to ensure a guaranteed miss.

My favorite is:

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
It's not a gimme if you're still away

[fundonny]

There's a tractor on the course???? And it's part of the course??????? Umm... why?

[zoic]

check it out then.

http://www.ottawagolf.com/greensmere/photo16-17.htm

[fundonny]

That's better then I thought. I thought they meant it was right in the middle, in play.

[jonf]

It is right in the middle, in play - the tee box is off to the right, not visible in that picture. Right in the middle of the fairway.

[manitoulin]

i only have 299 thoughts in my head when i shoot.