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  1. 01-17-2006 03:03 PM #61
    Law
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    Chuck Norris won Jumanji without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living crap out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
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  2. 01-17-2006 03:12 PM #62
    ironmaster15213
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    God created the Earth on the first day but it didn't rotate until Chuck Norris kicked it on the second day!
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  3. 01-17-2006 03:13 PM #63
    TA 845
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    Chuck Norris has never been rained upon. Mother Nature can't risk those kinds of repercussions.
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  4. 01-17-2006 03:15 PM #64
    Big Johnny69
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    Chuck Norris invented video recording, just so he could watch himself over and over again beat the crap out of people.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  5. 01-17-2006 03:17 PM #65
    TA 845
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    Chuck Norris played the shark in Jaws
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  6. 01-17-2006 03:21 PM #66
    Law
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    Chuck Norris fought the law and the law didn't win. Shortly after, Chuck Norris became the law
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  7. 01-17-2006 03:26 PM #67
    Big Johnny69
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    Chuck Norris "Just Did It"!
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  8. 01-17-2006 03:29 PM #68
    Law
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    *similar to one of Geoff's earlier post*

    Chuck Norris is the only person to win Olympic gold in both swimming and Diving without ever getting wet.
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  9. 01-17-2006 03:32 PM #69
    TA 845
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    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
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  10. 01-17-2006 03:35 PM #70
    Big Johnny69
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    You went to the website for that one.

    They are still waiting on Chuck Norris' decision on whether Miller Lite tastes great or is less filling.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  11. 01-17-2006 03:39 PM #71
    Law
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    Chuck Norris can fly
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  12. 01-17-2006 03:40 PM #72
    Big Johnny69
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    C'mon RLaw, you have to have more than that...

    Chuck Norris stepped aside so Presidents could start having their faces on dollar bills.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  13. 01-17-2006 03:43 PM #73
    Law
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    A little weak ya, hmm...

    Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
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  14. 01-17-2006 03:46 PM #74
    Big Johnny69
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    There you go, much better.

    Chuck Norris was one of the original Three Stooges, but they refused to work with him because he would almost kill them.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  15. 01-17-2006 03:54 PM #75
    ironmaster15213
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    Chuck Norris drives par 4's, but he turns his back to the green and goes the long way!
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  16. 01-17-2006 03:56 PM #76
    Big Johnny69
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    Don't know if this one was said already.

    Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  17. 01-17-2006 04:02 PM #77
    ironmaster15213
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    Chuck Norris made a play fort when he was six, It's now home to N.O.R.A.D.!
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  18. 01-17-2006 04:08 PM #78
    TA 845
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    Chuck Norris looked in the mirror once, after the ass-whooping he gave himself, he never looked again!
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  19. 01-17-2006 04:11 PM #79
    Big Johnny69
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    Air bag systems in cars are tested by being run into a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  20. 01-17-2006 04:12 PM #80
    Law
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    Chuck Norris lives by one rule: No Fat Chicks.
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  21. 01-17-2006 04:16 PM #81
    Golfpeasant
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    Chuck Norris makes the most incredible macaroni and cheese. What makes it incredible? He doesn't use macaroni or cheese.
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  22. 01-17-2006 04:17 PM #82
    Law
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    Chuck Norris never gets sick because his white blood cells aren't like yours and mine. His have a black ring around them, which signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the crap out of viruses.
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  23. 01-17-2006 04:20 PM #83
    ironmaster15213
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    Chuck Norris only drinks decaf coffee, If he had that little extra energy he would put 22 million undocumented workers out of work!
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  24. 01-17-2006 04:25 PM #84
    Law
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    Chuck Norris can use a magnifying glass to burn ants. At night.
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  25. 01-17-2006 04:26 PM #85
    Golfpeasant
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    IF Chuck Norris were to die and go to heaven, God would have to ask permission to stay.
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  26. 01-17-2006 04:41 PM #86
    ironmaster15213
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    The original antiballistic missle system was Chuck Norris standing on a countries border and doing jump kicks!
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  27. 01-17-2006 04:42 PM #87
    Law
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    When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
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  28. 01-17-2006 04:50 PM #88
    Big Johnny69
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    Chuck Norris once ran lead and anchor for the US Olympic sprint team when they won a gold medal.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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  29. 01-17-2006 04:51 PM #89
    Law
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    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a McDonald's so hard, it became a Wendy's
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  30. 01-17-2006 04:53 PM #90
    Big Johnny69
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    You can't join the U.N. without Chuck Norris' permission because the real name is United with Norris.
    "A life lived in fear of the new and the untried is not a life lived to its fullest." M.Pare 10/09/08
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