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a divorce story
On the first day, Bill sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, Bill had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; put on some music and feasted on a couple pounds of shrimp, and a jar of caviar.
When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of all the curtain rods..
Bill then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, Bill's wife came back with her new rich boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.
Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive carpeting. Nothing worked!
Friends and family stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. Finally, the ex-wife and boyfriend couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move. But a month later even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually even the out of town realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Hearing what had happened, Bill called the ex-wife and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. Bill listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to buy the house, if the divorce settlement was decreased to zero in exchange for buying the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/2 of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.
Bill agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork to him, which he signed.
A week later the ex-wife and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.... And just to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!
I love a happy ending don't you?
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