Laws of the Universe

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to take a leak.


Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.



Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.



Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.


Variation Law - If you change check-out lines in a store (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will


Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Commercial Marketing Strategy Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.