The golfing nun

A nun walked into Mother Superior’s office and plunked down into a chair.
She let out a sigh, heavy with frustration."What troubles you, Sister?"
asked the Mother Superior.


"I thought this was the day you spent with your family."

"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. You
know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."

"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So your day of
recreation was not relaxing?"

"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord’s name in
vain today!"

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior. "You must tell me all about
it!"

"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother.

A 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit
the drive of my life.

The sweetest swing I ever made....it was flying straight and true, right
along the line I wanted...and it hit a bird in mid-flight, not 100 yards
off the tee!"

"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn’t
make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn’t it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom
what had happened, this squirrel ran out of the woods, grabbed my ball and
ran off down the fairway!"

"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized the Mother Superior.

"But I didn’t, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "I was so proud of
myself!

While I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swooped
down, grabbed the squirrel and flew off, with my ball still clutched in the
squirrel’s paws!"

"So that’s when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.

"Nope, that wasn’t it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "....as the
hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the
hawk dropped him right on the green.

The ball popped out of the squirrel’s paws and rolled to about 18 inches
from the cup! "

Mother Superior sat abruptly back in her chair, folded her arms across her
chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...











"You missed the ****ing putt, didn’t you?"