Things to say after you or someone has had a bad shot.
Swiped these from another forum
1. "Put me down for 8, where's the beer cart?"
2. When you leave the first putt way short.....
There is some chicken left on that bone.
3. when you play a course with alot of houses and someone jacks it straight at one...........
yell,
"HIT SOMETHIN" CHEAP!!!"
4. I've been playing for years and just heard this one for the first time. A buddy of mine sliced into the woods and another buddy said"was that your tree wood?" How have I never heard this?
5. To a playing partner who was wearing shorts (and really shouldn't)
"Are those your legs or are you sitting on a chicken?"
6. after some bad putting i like " so what your g string ridin high or what?"
7. When playing with someone way more deliberate (and slow) than their game deserves:
"At least when I suck at golf I'm quick about it".
8. when someone leaves a makeable, well ANY, putt in the jaws, and they walk up to tap it in, I'll say,
"Hey, you dropped something"
When they start looking around their feet, add...
"your lipstick..." (rotate with makeup, mascara, Cosmo subscription & handbag to keep the joke fresh, cos it can get old real quick
9. "The only place I saw a worse stroke than that was at the hospital" this one sounds like a take off of the Nike commercial with Charles Barkley "Is that a swing of a siezure?
10. "lassie couldn't find that if it were wrapped in bacon."
11. When he drains a long putt, one of my buddies always says, "even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes."
12. The other one is when a playing partner shows me a new club.
"Hey, there's a piece of **** on the end of it"
As they examine the head, add..
"No, the other end...."
13. When a drive is absolutely hammered "...wow, that ball's gotta be bleedin'..."
14. "Nice hat, did you get a free bowl of soup with that?"
15. Whenever you and your buddy's drives are close together on the fairway and you discover you have outdriven him by just a few feet or less, you look at him with a smile and say, "You crushed that one."
16. "you might want to ask treebeard where your ball went"
17. "if it wasnt for an imept golf swing, inferior equipment, terrible course management and poor taste in clothing, you wouldnt be that bad..."
18. with my friend's I often tell them that the problem is your "LOFT"
Lack of F$^&&*^$%$ Talent
Rusty