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Forum: Golf Jokes

Good clean fun

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: PG rated golf jokes only please

    PG rated golf jokes only please.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 11-20-2005 06:07 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 23,758
    11-20-2005 06:07 AM Go to last post
  1. Talking 'Dufnering' meme takes Internet by storm

    haha.....awesome! http://www.golf.com/photos/dufnering-meme-takes-internet-storm-jason-dufner-twitter/jason-dufner-keegan-bradley?sct=hp3#332455

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 03-29-2013 05:18 PM
    dufnering, funny, meme, pout, trend
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 11,875
    03-29-2013 08:30 PM Go to last post
  2. ****, I missed

    don't recall seeing this one posted... A Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf. The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing. He missed the ball entirely and said "****, I missed."...

    Started by Law‎, 09-20-2005 01:55 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 4,750
    11-30-2005 11:10 AM Go to last post
  3. Cool 10 best caddie comments

    # 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth. # 8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is...

    Started by BogeyGolf‎, 08-17-2009 03:53 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 14,059
    08-22-2009 06:10 AM Go to last post
  4. 10 Best Caddy Replies

    I did a search and could not find this so I hope it has never been posted before, if so admin please delete. Enjoy TEN BEST CADDY REPLIES # 10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" # 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and...

    Started by 4PUTT‎, 04-30-2007 11:26 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 9,544
    05-02-2007 12:29 PM Go to last post
  5. 15 Years Of Marriage

    A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around...

    Started by Golfbum‎, 03-29-2006 07:22 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 10,493
    03-29-2006 07:22 PM Go to last post
  6. 2 person trick shot at the range

    Better form than my normal swing :scratchch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYd8KE2Whd8

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 03-11-2014 07:51 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 14,265
    09-12-2015 11:17 PM Go to last post
  7. 2 year old golfer

    Wow! this little guy looks good :) Hope Dad doesn't push him too much. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLZ7ZbxAcvo

    Started by little brit‎, 11-10-2007 10:33 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 5,736
    11-11-2007 08:23 PM Go to last post
  8. 20 Laws Of Golf

    20 absolute laws of golf 1: No matter how bad your last shot was it won't be your worst. 2: After playing your best round of golf you can be sure that your next round will be one of your worst. The probability of this law coming true increases with the number of people you tell...

    Started by Golfbum‎, 08-24-2008 07:05 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 6,108
    12-09-2008 02:32 AM Go to last post
  9. 7 iron

    One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 12:07 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,845
    06-25-2005 12:07 PM Go to last post
  10. 9 Putts Into One Hole

    9 Putts Into One Hole: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hNZnlcOOz00

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 02-18-2013 03:15 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 14,484
    05-26-2015 08:05 PM Go to last post
  11. A German Tourist

    Supposedly on a golf holiday to England, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does--backward! A...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:39 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,050
    06-25-2005 10:39 AM Go to last post
  12. A Great Game

    A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdy the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a...

    Started by Arnold Kleiman‎, 08-25-2006 02:49 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,718
    09-15-2006 10:21 AM Go to last post
  13. A little groaner to kickstart the season

    A recent study has revealed that a hardy golfer walks approximately 900 miles per year. Another study has revealed that a hardy golfer drinks on an average 22 gallons of beer each golf season. We can safely conclude that a hardy golfer gets approximately 41 miles per gallon!! Have a...

    Started by donh‎, 05-01-2008 08:59 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,897
    05-01-2008 08:59 AM Go to last post
  14. A murder

    A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?" "Yes." "Did you hit her with that golf club?" "Yes. Yes, I...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 12-22-2006 05:59 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,880
    12-22-2006 06:12 PM Go to last post
  15. A Picture Is Worth A 1000 Words

    BC & GOLF

    Started by Golfbum‎, 11-07-2007 08:58 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,883
    11-07-2007 08:58 PM Go to last post
  16. A priest golfs on a sunday

    A Priest decides that he wants to go play a round of golf on a sunday for a change, so he plans ahead and finds someone to do his sermon for him, careful not to mention that he wants to play golf instead. A saint from heaven saw right through his plan and asked God, " Your not gonna let him get...

    Started by smiths_falls‎, 03-02-2011 02:56 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 12,326
    03-02-2011 02:56 PM Go to last post
  17. A priest, Jesus, and an old man.

    A priest, Jesus, and an old man tee off. The priest drives the green within 5 yards of the hole. Jesus slices the ball and it goes into the water hazard. He quickly runs across the water and hits his second onto the green 2 inches from the hole. The old man tees off with a short worm burner that...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 11:37 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,763
    06-25-2005 11:37 AM Go to last post
  18. Actual calls received at the public golf course

    ACTUAL CALLS RECEIVED AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE (Amherst, Mass.) Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars. Caller: Does that include golf? ------------------------------------------------- ...

    Started by paulfourputt‎, 08-11-2009 03:10 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 12,426
    08-15-2009 07:54 AM Go to last post
  19. Addicted to Golf

    "Hi my name is Bill and I'm a Golfer..." While some like to debate whether golf is a game or a sport, I'm debating whether golf is a sport or a drug. From The Addiction Research Foundation here are 10 indicators of an addiction Unusual flare-ups or outbreaks of temper (every second shot) ...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:46 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 6,450
    11-16-2007 09:26 PM Go to last post
  20. Adhering strictly to the rules

    Two friends were playing golf one day. They decided they would adhere strictly to the rules with no improving their lie. After a few holes, one guy's ball landed on a cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief his friend said, "We agreed that we would not improve our lie."...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 08-16-2009 04:41 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 12,700
    08-16-2009 04:41 PM Go to last post
  21. Afterlife

    A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, 'Connie ...Connie': 'Is that...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 11-28-2008 10:46 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,441
    11-28-2008 10:46 AM Go to last post
  22. Aging wife!

    It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My...

    Started by 3putt‎, 09-09-2005 10:28 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 4,751
    09-09-2005 03:50 PM Go to last post
  23. Alien observers

    An alien spaceship hovered over a golf course. Two aliens were watching a solitary golfer practicing on a golf course. This was a new golfer and they watched in amazement. The golfer duff his tee shot, shanked his second into the rough, took three to get out of the rough into the fairway, slice...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 11:50 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,732
    06-25-2005 11:50 AM Go to last post
  24. Alternate shot

    A husband and wife had entered a golf contest, the object was each would alternately hit the ball. The husband teed off with a mighty drive just short of the green on the par four first hole. As his wife stepped up, he said, "Don't worry honey, just chip it anywhere on to the green." His wife...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 12:17 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,800
    06-25-2005 12:17 PM Go to last post
  25. An Irish Funny

    One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft. Suddenly there emerged...

    Started by DavidY‎, 03-12-2007 01:30 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,634
    03-12-2007 01:30 AM Go to last post
  26. Another purpose

    An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for the little blue "Viagra" pill. The pharmacist asked "How many?" The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces." The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get...

    Started by sparsons‎, 08-22-2006 07:27 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,969
    09-18-2006 03:39 PM Go to last post
  27. at the driving range

    A golfer ran into a friend he not seen for years at the driving range one day. They talked about their games, their swings, and all sorts of things. Eventually, one of them said, "How's the family?" The other replied, "Oh, pretty good. I got a new set of clubs for the wife the other day!" "Hey,...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 11:42 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 6,144
    06-25-2005 11:42 AM Go to last post
  28. Bad drive

    After a particularly poor game of golf, the golfer skipped the "19th" hole and headed straight for home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes, I guess that would be about...

    Started by larry‎, 02-01-2007 03:17 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 5,277
    02-08-2007 08:23 AM Go to last post
  29. Bad game

    After a life of golf, thinking he had a sound and consistent game, Fred has the worst round of his life. Not able to take it, he enters the locker room, grabs a fresh razor, climbs into the showers and slits his wrists to die in the stream of water and blood ... Just after doing the deed and...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 12:04 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,762
    06-25-2005 12:04 PM Go to last post
  30. Bar Chip Shot

    During an Amateur Stroke Play event in 1974, Nigel Denham hit his second shot straight into the clubhouse where it bounced its way to the men's bar. Since it was not considered out of bounds, Denham opened a window and pitched the ball from the bar onto the green, 12 feet from the hole.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:41 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,384
    06-25-2005 10:41 AM Go to last post
  31. Barn doors

    The man hit his drive behind a barn and could not see the green. His wife said, I'll open the doors on both ends of the barn and you can hit the ball through the barn to the green. When the husband did this he hit his wife in the temple and killed her on the spot. About six months later the...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 11:30 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,659
    06-25-2005 11:30 AM Go to last post
  32. Be Careful After You Putt Out

    Be careful when you go to pick your ball out of the hole:lmfao

    Started by Golfbum‎, 06-17-2007 09:17 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 5,019
    06-17-2007 09:17 AM Go to last post
  33. Talking Be Defined

    ...........................................Be Defined................................ Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer. Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the...

    Started by MusicMan‎, 01-16-2007 11:50 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 3,952
    01-16-2007 01:29 PM Go to last post
  34. Best Follow-Through Ever?

    :cool http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md08xx3n1o4

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 10-02-2013 09:47 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 13,766
    10-03-2013 08:49 AM Go to last post
  35. Wink Betting with strangers....

    A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first golfer said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the two-some. They were even after the first two holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched,...

    Started by Kiwi‎, 10-28-2007 08:35 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,494
    10-28-2007 08:35 AM Go to last post
  36. Beware of lost golf balls

    A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes,and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole; we both sliced...

    Started by bobblehead‎, 06-09-2006 11:19 AM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 3,914
    06-13-2006 10:25 PM Go to last post
  37. Big hitter

    A golfer hit his drive on the first hole 300 yards right down the middle. When it came down, however, it hit a sprinkler and the ball went sideways into the woods. He was angry, but he went into the woods and hit a very hard 2 iron which hit a tree and bounced back straight at him. It hit him in...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 12:05 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,267
    06-25-2005 12:05 PM Go to last post
  38. BlackBerry Golf

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHB5YDxUfJM&mode=related&search=

    Started by MusicMan‎, 03-05-2007 05:31 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,815
    03-05-2007 05:31 PM Go to last post
  39. Broken Shaft:

    In 1951, Edward Harrison was playing at the Inglewood Country Club in Seattle, when the shaft of his driver broke and pierced his groin. He staggered 100 yards before he collapsed and bled to death.

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:40 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 5,827
    06-25-2005 10:40 AM Go to last post
  40. Brutal Iron Shot...

    Just brutal..... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bR3-tE29Vc

    Started by Mr. Chi‎, 12-09-2015 02:18 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 14,393
    12-09-2015 11:46 PM Go to last post
  41. Bunnyshack!!

    The Starz bunnies do Caddy Shack in 30 seconds... http://www.angryalien.com/aa/caddyshackbuns.asp

    Started by LobWedge‎, 11-12-2008 11:41 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 4,631
    11-13-2008 04:08 PM Go to last post
  42. Business & Golf

    Business & Golf The Ten Commandments I. The object of playing the game is to impress; perception is more important than reality. II. When playing with superiors you must pre-determine the outcome of the match. III. Observance of the Rules and Etiquette of Golf is mandatory whenever you...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:28 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,197
    06-25-2005 10:28 AM Go to last post
  43. Can't Loose

    A guy is standing in front of his locker at the country club admiring a golf ball he has in his hand. One of his golfing buddies says to him, "What'd you do, get some new golf balls?" "Would you believe that this is the greatest golf ball ever made? You can't lose it. You hit it into the rough,...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 11:31 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,621
    06-25-2005 11:31 AM Go to last post
  44. Candid Camera Golf

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwfx3udosus

    Started by Kilroy‎, 10-21-2006 10:09 AM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 6,199
    10-24-2006 06:49 AM Go to last post
  45. Careful when coming back to your cart....!!!

    These guys had a suprise................!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD-WZ1mKUG8

    Started by PEI Golfing‎, 08-08-2007 10:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 7,798
    08-08-2007 10:34 PM Go to last post
  46. CareTaker

    At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house." "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"...

    Started by BirdieMan‎, 03-30-2007 02:07 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,045
    03-30-2007 02:07 PM Go to last post
  47. Chuckle

    And then finally, there is the American playing golf in Scotland for the first time. After hitting his tee shot off the first out-of-bounds, he asks his local caddie, “Do you have Mulligans in Scotland”? The caddie replies “Aye, we do sir – but here we call them 3’s”!

    Started by nolrac2‎, 06-25-2019 05:39 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 15,110
    06-25-2019 05:39 AM Go to last post
  48. ck this out

    Anyone wanna go half with me? http://cgi.ebay.ca/BETTINARDI-DASS-LEFT-HANDED-BB-2-DREAMWEAVER-SPIDER-WEB_W0QQitemZ7221966627QQcategoryZ115280QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    Started by covanant‎, 03-01-2006 05:46 PM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 6,358
    03-07-2006 10:27 PM Go to last post
  49. Clichés

    Homesick Gopher - a putted ball that goes straight in without using the lip. Cellophane Bridge - a putt that goes right over top of the hole. Grow hair / Grow fangs / Hit a House / Deploy The Chute - what you yell at a putt that needs to slow down In Northern Ontario - Hit a Moose is popular...

    Started by Kilroy‎, 06-25-2005 10:47 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,932
    06-25-2005 10:47 AM Go to last post
  50. Coming To A Pro Shop Near You

    Rumour has it that this new golf accessory will be available in a Pro Shop near you soon. :-)

    Started by Golfbum‎, 03-02-2006 04:05 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 4,501
    09-18-2006 04:13 PM Go to last post

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