Forum: Humour

Please read the following article from the BBC website in full. You will likely be in stitches within about 2 paragraphs but please, stay with it until the end. And please, keep in mind this is not a joke. This is a real sport. And this is the real terminology. And yes..they do take tea...

Saw this on another golf forum and just had to share: http://www.b3ta.com/links/Favourable_Lie

When I came home from golfing today, the wife had left a note on the fridge: "It's not working, gone to stay with my mother. I can't take it anymore." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. What the hell is she talking about?

How to really stink at golf As a longtime golfer, Jeff Foxworthy has learned something important about the grand auld game: It's not who has the highest score, it's who has the least fun playing it. In this excerpt from his hilarious primer How to Really Stink at Golf, Foxworthy shares some...

This article appeared in 'Popular Mechanics' magazine, 50 years ago

Not what you want to see...

Fore!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcU4t6zRAKg

Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked! Q: I...

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in...

http://boredshorts.tv/2012/12/kid-snippets-drivers-ed/

I thought you’d get a kick out of this. It’s a viral forum thread about a rather fascinating build. Give it a few pages at least as it gets pretty odd as it progresses, to say the very least. :-) ...

Hey guys and gals, remember me? LOL I have started a new FB group Canadian Humour. https://www.facebook.com/groups/canadianhumour I started it because I'm fed up with the political and conspiracy theorists destroying humour groups. I moderated this place for 25 years so I figured what the...

A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. ...

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the...

A Newfoundlander is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. When the call ends, he orders drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Newfoundland baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can...

The Compliment: A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

Men have better Friends Friendship between Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day, she told her husband she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it. Friendship between Men: A man didn't come home one night....

Guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi, you know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who...

A guy is driving around Newfoundland and he sees a sign in front of a house: Talking Dog For Sale. He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. You talk?" he asks.

Hope this makes it by the censors, it's not "filthy" IMO, just a little raunchy... Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him...

The Obedient Wife There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real "miser" when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wif e... "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money...

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the...

http://www.youtube.com/user/Everyshotimaginable

So I'm not sure if this is in the right section but it's humorous so it should be fine. I think we all need to learn this swing:

Sorry. Couldn't resist. A Toronto Maple Leaf fan, a Philadelphia Flyer fan, and an Ottawa Senators fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of beer. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi...

A woman sitting in a restaurant in St.John's, NFLD suddenly began to cough while eating a giant lobster. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two men, Bob and Bill, sitting at the next table turned to look at her. "Kin ya swaller?" asked Bob. The woman...

Ever wish that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few women who did.... FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo...

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 am, a bit loaded I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the...

A man and a woman who had never met before were both married to other people but, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in...

I love these!:-) Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least Evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners for 2005. 1.When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach,...

(hope this is ok to post Dan;)) The Best Chain Letter Ever Hello, my name is Lewis and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her...

for those that haven't seen this before;) Finally a joke that explains what it's like to be Canadian... Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven,

RULES FOR CUTTING YOUR OWN FIREWOOD 1. Park twice as far from the tree as the tree is tall. 2. Never park downhill from the tree you are cutting down. 3. The fact that you live within driving distance of a forrest does not make you a lumberjack. 4. Just to be on the safe side, always borrow...

Saw this on another forum and thought it was rather amusing... The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Couple funny pictures I have come across...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1329362959167995041

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas> plains without water. > > His horse has already died of thirst. > He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his > last breath - when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out

sound needed... http://aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf :lmfao

:laughing: :laughing: The Secret to a LONG, HAPPY MARRIAGE: (as told to me.) My wife and I are going to celebrating our 50th anniversary next year. Pastor Dave asked me to take a few minutes and share some insight into how I managed to live with the same woman all these years. So I told...

http://www.jokeroo.com/funnyvideos/mudslingerthepig.html

I thought this was funny.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

Ok, until you click you may wonder why this in Humour .... http://pong.no/~opyrt/Terrible-F1-accident.jpg

http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20070523.html

This is mine... :-) A family group made up of Father, Son & Grandfather are standing on the first tee ready to tee-off when the Pro comes racing out of the proshop yelling “Wait! Wait! Do you mind taking along a fourth? It would really help me out. She’s a decent golfer and she won’t get in...

I think this might be from the Bob and Tom show, but I can't be sure. This may be the funniest thing I've ever heard. http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system...