Forum: Humour

If you want a good laugh go to this site below. Sometimes it is slow loading due to the amount of traffic. But it is well worth the wait! I downloaded the video clip for future reference:-) http://www.glumbert.com/media/dancewhiteboy.html

Here is another classic. You can also download this one, but you need a program to play .flv files. If you want to save it you can do a search for the player and download it too. http://waverly.hitwhatyoureaimingat.com/main.html

The Laws Of Golf LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be...

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. ...

A fish story Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day and he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wif a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like dem frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie. Dat snake, he be a cotton mouf...

In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the...

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman for the last three weekends." Father Donavon asks: "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, 'tis I." "And who was the woman you were with?" "Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her...

This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him the drink and he drinks it. Then he looks in his shirt pocket and orders another drink. He does the same thing with the second drink and orders a third drink. The bartender pours the drink and says "listen pal I'll buy you drinks...

WHY CANADIANS ARE SO TIRED For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, ear wax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. Now I've found out the real reason I'm tired -- because I'm overworked. Here's why: The...

How To install a poor-man's security system: Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots ---a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo Magazine. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dog dish. Leave a note on your front...

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER 1. Sag, you're It. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick the bucket 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6. Musical recliners. 7. Simon says something incoherent. 8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

There is a new product on the market that might help you avoid speeding tickets in the future. They will also help keep others from tailgating you, open up traffic in front of you. If you get stopped by the police just explain "I thought they were real missles officer"

REAL NEWSPAPER ADS FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites. FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES...

*Jeff Foxworthy on Ontario:* *If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you live in Ontario. *If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Ontario. *If...

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club... A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk... Everyone else in the room stops to listen... MAN: "Hello"... WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club...?"

Question: What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette machine? Answer: The cigarette machine has PLAYER'S. Question: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common? Answer: They both look good until they hit the ice! Question: Why doesn't Hamilton have an...

This just came through to me, thought I better pass it along so no one gets burnt!:laughing:

DON' THINK YOUR TIME ISN'T COMING FOR THIS:-) An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the...

Living Will Form I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on...

Newspaper Classifieds (Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers) 20. Stock up and save. Limit: one. 19. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 18. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

NOW REMEMBER I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST BLONDES! I just thought this was funny. :-) Bob walks into a bar and sits down beside a blonde lady at 9:58PM. Just as he orders his beer the 10PM News comes on and shows a guy on a window ledge saying he is going to jump. Bob says to the blonde "Do...

A Message From Your Dog... Ten Peeves That Your Dog Has About You 1. Blaming your farts (gas) on me... not funny... not funny at all!!!

Two Scots,,, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding. "Och, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organized already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night..." Archie nods...

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She...

The Fish Texas redneck was stopped by a game warden in East Texas recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving LakeFork well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These here are...

I came across this and thought it was humerous. This is what happens to public figures when divorces get messy!:laughing:

I wonder how long it took for him to sell his motorcycle ? :laughing: :laughing: ] $10,000 06' Suzuki GSXR 1000 Farmington, UT 84025 - Aug 7, 2006 2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all...

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?...

LATE BREAKING NEWS FLASH Apparently SOUTHWOLD TOWNSHIP, home of the Green Lane Landfill will be putting in an offer to buy the Toronto Maple Leafs. Since the Township will receiving 2/3's of Toronto's GARBAGE by 2010 they might as well have all of it! :lmfao

THE LISP It was Halloween and a little boy, who had a speech impediment, was out Trick-or-Treating. He came to a man's house and said "Bick or Beet". The man asked, "What are you for Halloween?" "A birate," the little boy said. Now, everyone knows that pirates are associated with...

Apparently no one has warned her about the dangers of doing what she is doing here! Check the photos out in sequence, and look closely at the last one! :lmfao

THE COAT HANGER A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to...

Retirement Planning: If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the Original $1000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

This just came in over the news wire. :laughing:

Your annual work Christmas Party?

How times have changed in 50 years! Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack. 2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and...

I wonder if this will be filmed in Philly?:lmfao

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick...

Dumbest Kid in the World? A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you...

No offense to any of the ladies who are members. Lord knows I love my wife dearly ;) But I thought this was funny :-) DEEP THOUGHTS BY MEN WHILE FISHING Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing spot, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to...

Check this big robitic dog out! :laughing:

I have always known this, now here is the proof. BUILT FORD TOUGH :-)

Three little loonies went into a pub. "Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first loon. "Huey," the loon replied. "How's your day been, Huey?" asked the bartender. "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a loon want?" said Huey. "Oh,...

http://www.patentlysilly.com/patent.php?patID=6988954

Had to share this, made us all chuckle this morning at the office. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm2sOFa29As

A 2006 study found that the average Canadian walks about 900 miles per year. Another study found that Canadians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer per year. That means, on average, Canadians get approximately 41 miles per gallon (not bad).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ch9a4gzr60&NR=1

The tears are still pouring out of my eyes............ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPvFWZEvU9U&feature=related

OMG!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5gvsMzgprA

I dare you to share this with your wives........... Son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies: 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'