Forum: Humour

These are hilarious. Full length commercials for American Express http://www.jerry.digisle.tv/room.html

We Need your help ... Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs,...

From the In The Bleachers comics

If you want a good laugh go to this site below. Sometimes it is slow loading due to the amount of traffic. But it is well worth the wait! I downloaded the video clip for future reference:-) http://www.glumbert.com/media/dancewhiteboy.html

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate,...

The government of Canada is proposing a 72 hour waiting period before you ae allowed to receive your purchased golf clubs. The reason behind the proposed law: http://media.kladblog.com/media/200510/golf.wmv

Saw this on FGI and just had to share: Things that only movies can teach you: During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. Most dogs are immortal.

Here is a recap of them: http://sports.aol.com/nfl/superbowlads :-) :laughing:

A friend of mine sent this on to me. Enjoy. There was a German, an Italian and a Newfie on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: 1. to be shot 2. to be hung 3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

"She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending $65.00 on make-up. So I asked how come I had to give up stuff and not her. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for. I don't think she's coming...

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly...

DON' THINK YOUR TIME ISN'T COMING FOR THIS:-) An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the...

http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/pages/chip-it-out.html :laughing::laughing:

.. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't. .. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! .. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. .. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. .. Don't take life too...

How times have changed in 50 years! Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack. 2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and...

From last Saturday night, pure Gold!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5grqhj1b8

The 6 Best Smart Ass Answers Of 2006 SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was...

Here is the reason I sleep on the couch 'occasionally'. A recent letter on mine to Tech Support asking to fix a problem of mine :-) Dear Tech Support: A few years back I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that...

:laughing: :laughing: The Secret to a LONG, HAPPY MARRIAGE: (as told to me.) My wife and I are going to celebrating our 50th anniversary next year. Pastor Dave asked me to take a few minutes and share some insight into how I managed to live with the same woman all these years. So I told...

AND MY FAV....

Could it be Jeff Johnson:lmfao Thousands of golf balls stolen from driving range in odd theft BONNER SPRINGS, Kan. (AP) Ñ Nearly 4,800 fluorescent yellow golf balls are missing from a suburban Kansas City golf course after someone raided the facilityÕs driving range. Sunflower Hills Golf...

Saint Nick has succumbed to the bureaucratic pressures of the 21st century and is now insisting that children must fill out the attached form before they can be eligible for home delivery on Xmas eve. Where will it end? Edit: I just noticed that it is easier to open this attachment by right...

Never mind the fact that Spring officially began last week according to the calender. This is the true sign of Spring in Canada, and especially Toronto Ontario. :-)

http://my.break.com/Content/view.aspx?ContentID=478012 :rofl1:rofl1:rofl1

anti terrorist car:-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FR3QezGPPH8

The tears are still pouring out of my eyes............ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPvFWZEvU9U&feature=related

Someone just emailed me this and I thought it was hilarious.. Some bad language but overall good for a laugh.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnE_cBLPYJI&eurl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYlZiWK2Iy8

Free shaft pulls for anyone who reaches hole #10 at Champlain in 2 strokes:listen: from the white tees http://www.ottawagolf.com/champlain/index.htm Hole 10Par 5606596479Hit it again and again. Long par 5 with a green that is interestingly shaped. A good test of your putting skills.

Question: What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette machine? Answer: The cigarette machine has PLAYER'S. Question: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common? Answer: They both look good until they hit the ice! Question: Why doesn't Hamilton have an...

One of my buddies at work also decided to retire and join me on the golf course (Told me he could not play 7 days a week :scratchch ) He found this and forwarded to me. Sad, but this is what it all comes down to when you retire. :laughing: :laughing:

In Celebration of Valentine's Day yesterday (the Holiday rumoured to be created by the Greeting Card Business) I thought that I'd share some thing that you will NEVER see written on a Hallmark Card.... My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your...

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we...

Sorry. Couldn't resist. A Toronto Maple Leaf fan, a Philadelphia Flyer fan, and an Ottawa Senators fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of beer. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi...

A guy is driving around Newfoundland and he sees a sign in front of a house: Talking Dog For Sale. He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. You talk?" he asks.

A 2006 study found that the average Canadian walks about 900 miles per year. Another study found that Canadians drink an average of 22 gallons of beer per year. That means, on average, Canadians get approximately 41 miles per gallon (not bad).

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2103947718923092493

The NHL had been testing a new type of puck and had passed it around various NHL teams, alphabetically, to get their opinion. Finally they get around to Toronto and the NHL official arrives at the Air Canada Centre and meets Cliff Fletcher. "Here you go sir, this is the "Tucker" puck... oops! I...

Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system...

:lmfao:lmfao:lmfao

Leave my girl alone:biting::lmfao http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsGE0y82wbY

you may have seen this before but anyway: A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he...

A robber in a bank wearing a balaclava has it ripped off his head by a security guard. He points and shoots at the guard and kills him instantly. He then peruses the room and says, did anyone else see anything? an irishman standing to the side says. I tink me wife caught a glimpse of ya.:-)

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She...

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum' With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling...

The Women's Tee:redface:-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUj_qqVxVrE

ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: > Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop > that sparked my interest. > The occasion was our 15th...