Forum: Humour

for those that haven't seen this before;) Finally a joke that explains what it's like to be Canadian... Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven,

Its funny how golf advertising has changed .. see these clips .... Golf ads Imagine 13 for 12 .. good idea:)

Ha Ha...

http://www.jibjab.com/JokeBox/JokeBox/jibjab/id/222185/jokeid/66234

I wonder how long it took for him to sell his motorcycle ? :laughing: :laughing: ] $10,000 06' Suzuki GSXR 1000 Farmington, UT 84025 - Aug 7, 2006 2006 Suzuki 1000. This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all...

A funny one... Open up Google and type "failure" and click "I'm feeling lucky". See what you get? :-)

http://attaboy.ca/archives/2007/02/000986.php reminds me a bit of the old Nike Goalie commercials.....

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER 1. Sag, you're It. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick the bucket 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6. Musical recliners. 7. Simon says something incoherent. 8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?...

http://www.wimp.com/bushcomedy/

Habs sign new power forward!

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld briefed President Bush this morning. He told Bush that three Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color drained from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken,...

A biker stops by the local Harley Shop to have his bike fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He then stopped by the feed/livestock store and...

Click on DK:lmfao DK

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger standing in a pouring down rain is asking for a push. "Not a chance" says the husband - "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the...

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life...

A woman sitting in a restaurant in St.John's, NFLD suddenly began to cough while eating a giant lobster. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two men, Bob and Bill, sitting at the next table turned to look at her. "Kin ya swaller?" asked Bob. The woman...

I thought this was humourous enough to share. Gotta luv the differences between men and women:-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1ZZreXEqSY

This is one of the best things i have ever heard!!! your gonna love this, just got it, its not a golf joke... but thought i should share anyways HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

Tiger Woods Enjoying His Last Bit of Dominance Until Michelle Wie Starts Crushing Him Tiger Woods capped off his dominant victory in last weekend’s Buick Open with a powerful fist-pump on the 18th green – a sign he is fully aware he must savor...

From last Saturday night, pure Gold!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5grqhj1b8

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2103947718923092493

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXpxC02HmOo ok so you won't understand what he is saying but you don't need to. he takes calls and gives advice for a fee but obviously has never fielded a call like this lol

This is Ferrell's daughter. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74/the-landlord-from-will-ferrell-and-adam-ghost-panther-mckay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

Here is another classic. You can also download this one, but you need a program to play .flv files. If you want to save it you can do a search for the player and download it too. http://waverly.hitwhatyoureaimingat.com/main.html

Someone just emailed me this and I thought it was hilarious.. Some bad language but overall good for a laugh.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnE_cBLPYJI&eurl

Hockey Fan A first grade teacher in Toronto explains to her class that she is a Toronto Maple Leaf fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Maple Leaf fans too. Not really knowing what a Maple Leaf fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly ...

Sorry. Couldn't resist. A Toronto Maple Leaf fan, a Philadelphia Flyer fan, and an Ottawa Senators fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of beer. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi...

Holiday Takeover Announced Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years. While details were not available...

These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now! Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15...

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. ...

I saw this one and I knew it was meant for you big guy.... the hat... the breakfast drink and that boyish look...:thumbsup :thumbsup

A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet"...

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, And all the patients were out in the yard shouting, ' 13....13....13. ' The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see What was going on..... Some idiot poked me in the eye with...

How many forum users does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently 7 to caution about the dangers of changing...

How times have changed in 50 years! Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack. 2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and...

There is a new product on the market that might help you avoid speeding tickets in the future. They will also help keep others from tailgating you, open up traffic in front of you. If you get stopped by the police just explain "I thought they were real missles officer"

How To install a poor-man's security system: Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots ---a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo Magazine. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dog dish. Leave a note on your front...

I think this might be from the Bob and Tom show, but I can't be sure. This may be the funniest thing I've ever heard. http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

How to really stink at golf As a longtime golfer, Jeff Foxworthy has learned something important about the grand auld game: It's not who has the highest score, it's who has the least fun playing it. In this excerpt from his hilarious primer How to Really Stink at Golf, Foxworthy shares some...

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. ! Killing any?"

:laughing: Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work." The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her I want sex....

An 80 year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?" The doctor considered...

Rick and Julie are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. Rick picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks Julie 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies. 'Put them back, we can't afford them demands Julie, and so they carry on...

I got this one today at work and I just had to share it.... My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain...

I am glad my wife is not a LEAFS FAN :rofl1

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me? " To which she replies, "I think you' re the father of one of my kids. "Now his mind travels...