Forum: Humour

Funny Stuff by Jack Black

Why do seaguls fly over the sea and not over the bay? Scroll down to find out why

A man walks into a bar...ouch.

So these two aliens land on earth and end up at a gas station. The one big alien goes up to the gas pump thinking it can provide him with information and says "take me to your leader or I'll shoot you". Of course the gas pump doesn't respond. The smaller alien says to the bigger one "don't mess...

So an elephant asks the camel "why do you have two boob are your back?". The camel responds "that's funny coming from a guy who has a d!ck on his face".

You've probably seen the magizine ad of this, I just got this link sent to me for the commercial, I heard they where going to do one. It's pretty funny... http://www.brainsaw.net/download.htm Hit 'em straight, hit 'em hard. FS

I just watched a whole lot of chapelle and the best of will ferrell. Man, I think I peed a little during each. Who's the funniest man on the planet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbr2ao86ww0 Haha, knew it was coming!!!!!!! Hilarious again, and man, what a fastball at the end, the bride could be a major league pitcher.

http://www.frumpzilla.com/frumpzilla_site/articles/inebriated-man-vs-flip-flop-an-age-old-battle/ Man this brings me back... Been there, done that.

Absolutely classic!!!!!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Crw85HvIFs and... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKI_q6MsTxM

This is the motivation Team Canada needed!!

Kinda star warz.... http://rrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnhhhh.blogspot.com/

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him... The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,orange, and blue... My dad kept staring...

Great cartoon video

They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a Chiropractor and she’s a pain in the neck. They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a funny old goat and she’s a great kidder. They’re a perfect match. . . He doesn’t have a dollar and she has no sense. They’re a...

Someone just emailed me this and I thought it was hilarious.. Some bad language but overall good for a laugh.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnE_cBLPYJI&eurl

A lady with a baby carriage gets on a local bus with her newborn baby.... The bus driver takes one look at the baby and starts to laugh histerically ....the lady purturbed says "what are you laughing at " the bus driver says...." that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen, no charge lady,,," he...

Deep thought for the day.... Some people are like Slinkies ....

A man standing in line at a check-out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when an attractive woman behind him said, "Hello!" Her face was beaming. He gave her that "who-are-you?" look and couldn't remember ever having seen her before. Then, noticing his look, she figured she had made a...

Apparently the sign said NO GOLFING ALLOWED Apparently this dude did not read the sign.

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey,"died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family...

PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY, I DO NOT HATE BLONDES! IN FACT MY DAUGHTER IS BLONDE AND I EMAILED HER THIS JOKE!:-) Two blondes were walking through the woods and came upon a set of tracks. One blonde said that they were deer tracks. The other blonde said that they were moose...

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger standing in a pouring down rain is asking for a push. "Not a chance" says the husband - "It's three o'clock in the morning!" He slams the...

Custody Battle Ruling: A seven year old boy from Toronto was at the centre of a courtroom drama in an Ontario Superior Courthouse this morning when he challenged a court ruling over who should have legal custody of the juvenile. The boy has a history of being beaten repeatedly by both...

These will be installed in all vehicles for the 2006 models.:-)

A husband and wife are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while they are in bed. The husband turns to the wife and says, "Do you want to have sex?" "No." She answered. The husband asks, "Is that your final answer?" "Yes." She replied. He says, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." ...

Dear Husband; I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last...

I think this song will be TOP TEN in a matter of weeks:laughing: :laughing: Go listen and you be the judge! http://jbreck.com/itsshardtokiss.html

Don't honk your horn at old ladies while they cross the street in front of you!:cool :laughing: http://www.clipdump.com/goLink.php?Id=6980

Story of Don It is important for men to remember, that as women grow older it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive and there's nothing worse than an...

OLDIES BUT CLASSICS! Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - The last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... FIRST...

This might bring a smile to your face on TGIF :)

One of my buddies at work also decided to retire and join me on the golf course (Told me he could not play 7 days a week :scratchch ) He found this and forwarded to me. Sad, but this is what it all comes down to when you retire. :laughing: :laughing:

There is a virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life...

I have never come across this type of crime scene in my 25 years of golfing :lmfao Sure, I have seen the odd broken club but nothing this devasting!

This is hillarious, well I thought it was :laughing: MOM'S MINIVAN VS AN OLD TV

This clip is hilarious :lmfao Makes you wonder how grown ups can argue with a HUNK OF WOOD that is sitting on someone's lap :laughing: HAVE A GOOD LAUGH TODAY :-)

It would appear that the Leafs are really desperate now! :lmfao

BEWARE OF SNAKES ON THE GOLF COURSE :lmfao

I was wondering if anyone from this forum received an invitation to play in this golf tournament? I didn't, I guess the organizers knew I would be tied up watching THE SHARKS :laughing:

It would be wise not to tick off a guy who owns a backhoe! :lmfao

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. ! Killing any?"

So, What Do Canadians Have To Be Proud OF ? 1. Smarties 2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp 3. The size of our footballs fields, one less down, and bigger balls. 4. Baseball is Canadian - First game June 4, 1838 Ingersoll , Ontario 5. Lacrosse is Canadian 6. Hockey is Canadian 7....

TRIP TO WAL-MART You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in...

I am glad my wife is not a LEAFS FAN :rofl1

The SKODA CAR Company is now installing GPS units in every vehicle they manufacture. :lmfao

My Italian friend sent me the Italian Christmas Song :laughing:

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Ft Myers, Florida. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, " Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents." They look at each other, then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

Never mind the fact that Spring officially began last week according to the calender. This is the true sign of Spring in Canada, and especially Toronto Ontario. :-)