Forum: Humour

This article appeared in 'Popular Mechanics' magazine, 50 years ago

O.k first off,im no big meany! Was in my basement today,had a wedge out and a couple of those plastic balls with the holes in them. Chipping into a bucket from about 4 feet or so,my 4 year old son took one in the forhead! What happened next was funny beyond anything(you guys out there with kids...

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned...

An 80 year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?" The doctor considered...

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld briefed President Bush this morning. He told Bush that three Brazilian soldiers had been killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color drained from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken,...

This is hillarious, well I thought it was :laughing: MOM'S MINIVAN VS AN OLD TV

Turn up the volume and elf away:lmfao http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1256146810

Have a listen to this: http://www.holytaco.com/2008/06/27/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/ It's reason enough not to leave phone messages, especially if you're not firing on all cylinders.

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him... The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,orange, and blue... My dad kept staring...

A friend sent this to me. I don't think it had anything to do with the fact that I am very close to retirement. Maybe he mistook me for Indio. :) ________________________________ This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a...

:shake :jitter

Couple funny pictures I have come across...

Avast ye scurvy bilge rats... http://www.talklikeapirate.com./piratehome.html

I came across this and thought it was humerous. This is what happens to public figures when divorces get messy!:laughing:

Came across this article and thought I would share http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7006219471

Take 60 seconds to do this, I guarantee you will show someone else, it's too funny not to. 1. go to www.google.com 2. click on "maps" 3. click on "get directions" 4. type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box) 5. type "London" in the second box (the "to" box) 6. click on "get...

Guts and Balls - The Medical Distinction We've all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below... GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by...

Great cartoon video

******* NINE WORDS WOMEN USE******************************** ******* (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.. ******* (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have...

Saw this on the FGI and thought I would share. Enjoy!! http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5527273221

http://www.christmas-carols.net/carols/have-yourself-merry-little.html NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

A male gorilla escaped from the Ottawa zoo and was soon found up in a nearby neighborhood tree. Soon a park ranger showed up with his new assistant by his side. His assistant was surprised that all the ranger brought with him was a pair of handcuffs, a little chihuahua and a shotgun for such a...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1329362959167995041

Check this one out, was almost in tears reading it. Chili Contest The notes are from an inexperienced Eastern Sportswriter chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The Judge...

OLDIES BUT CLASSICS! Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - The last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... FIRST...

Ok, until you click you may wonder why this in Humour .... http://pong.no/~opyrt/Terrible-F1-accident.jpg

Dumbest Kid in the World? A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you...

http://deadspin.com/sports/nhl/not-a-sign-that-will-help-you-get-on-tv-232432.php Wonder is she is a goalie?????

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, or meat. We take English for...

It would appear that the Leafs are really desperate now! :lmfao

http://www.danerd.com/media/4301_Audition+Tough+Guy+poor

Another Recalled Toy From China

Things you always wanted to know.......well perhaps a few! If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcU4t6zRAKg

I dare you to share this with your wives........... Son asked his mother the following question: 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies: 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'

http://www.jumpstation.ca/recroom/comedy/handy.html Ah deep thoughts, they take me back to the days when SNL used to be funny. My favorite deep thought of all time is: I bet for an Indian, shooting an old fat pioneer woman in the back with an arrow, and she fires her shotgun into the...

Here's what happens when a golf ball meets my driver:-) http://www.flixxy.com/golf-ball-slow-motion.htm

http://hfboards.hockeysfuture.com/showthread.php?t=1161651 Read posts #11 and #16

I thought you’d get a kick out of this. It’s a viral forum thread about a rather fascinating build. Give it a few pages at least as it gets pretty odd as it progresses, to say the very least. :-) ...

A guy from Tennessee passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ How do you know when you're staying in a Tennessee hotel?When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies,...

Anyone who has read forum posts can see the humor in this. Taken from a woodworking forum I visit... http://www.canadianwoodworking.com/p...ic.php?t=11773 Jer.

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life...

UNDERWEAR IS IMPORTANT!! > >> > >>Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working > >>under > >>your vehicle...From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this > >>story of > >>a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have > >>their car break > >>down in...

A friend sent me this cartoon. Very funny.

I have never come across this type of crime scene in my 25 years of golfing :lmfao Sure, I have seen the odd broken club but nothing this devasting!

This clip is hilarious :lmfao Makes you wonder how grown ups can argue with a HUNK OF WOOD that is sitting on someone's lap :laughing: HAVE A GOOD LAUGH TODAY :-)

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. :thumbsdow :thumbsdow The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. :) Are they...

Kind neighbour