Forum: Humour

The best way to shave 4 to 6 strokes of your golf game is to ..... Quit after 17 holes. :hyper:

Should Indio sleep on the couch tonight? :hyper:

When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice...

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process\ all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read:

http://www.danerd.com/media/4301_Audition+Tough+Guy+poor

Freekin hilarious http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmdxW3ifYfE

> Should children witness childbirth? > > Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the > call. > The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a > 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so > he could see while he > helped deliver the baby. ...

This is how it should be

Dear Abby: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he...

The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to Take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forests Golf Courses. They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their...

A funny one... Open up Google and type "failure" and click "I'm feeling lucky". See what you get? :-)

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate,...

The room was full of pregnant women, with their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said: "Ladies:...

There's nothing to it

I saw this one and I knew it was meant for you big guy.... the hat... the breakfast drink and that boyish look...:thumbsup :thumbsup

Another Recalled Toy From China

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she...

Dog For Sale * Free to good home. * Excellent guard dog. * Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. * Most of them knew him as 'Holy ****.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cp5FAbJvUEY&feature=player_embedded

One evening as Jack passed little Tommy's bedroom he overheard his son praying, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma. Bye bye Grandpa." The Dad wasn't quite sure what Tommy meant by this, but was pleased to see his son praying. However, the next morning, they found Grandpa...

In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel company? 2. President of the largest gas company? 3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate...

How do you practice social distancing on a golf course? Righty's only invite your left handed golfing buddy for a round of golf. Search for only your ball off the tee. (even if it is in the rough ) Do not share a power cart....Walk (the odds are you will be on opposites sides of the...

Sorry nat couldn't get one of you :( http://www.jibjab.com/starring_you/receipt/3079477

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYlZiWK2Iy8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXpxC02HmOo ok so you won't understand what he is saying but you don't need to. he takes calls and gives advice for a fee but obviously has never fielded a call like this lol

:stirthepoTo all the folks in Gatineau and Edelwiess area,my girlfriend apologizes for knocking out the power.I believe it was the tee shot on the 13th at Edelweiss,she drove it right into the Hydro tower,the ball hit two of the legs,what a loud bang bang,so hilarious

http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/2496.html

Rough Day At The Bar A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He orders six shots of vodka. The bartender asks the man, "Have a rough day?" The man replies, "Yeah, I found out my younger brother was gay!" The bartender says, "Man, I'm sorry to hear that. That's awful." The man downs...

Ha Ha...

The government of Canada is proposing a 72 hour waiting period before you ae allowed to receive your purchased golf clubs. The reason behind the proposed law: http://media.kladblog.com/media/200510/golf.wmv

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120154868323:lmfao

Must listen to this all the way to the end: http://maniacworld.com/selling-a-house-but-no-asians-wanted.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bevJr3Ra84Q :lmfao:lmfao:lmfao:lmfao:lmfao

A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet"...

A guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber...

Two tourists were driving through Nova Scotia. As they were approaching Schubenacadie, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we...

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the...

http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/pages/chip-it-out.html :laughing::laughing:

Came across this article and thought I would share http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7006219471

Here is the Table of Contents from my new book, "Winning Golf Strategies", which I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my own years of experience in the game and observations of golfing partners. I look forward to your feedback. ...

:lmfao :lmfao http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkP1lHi5igM

Good gag to play on your golf buddies. http://www.theballstogoforit.com/base.cfm?utm_source=TheGolfChannel&utm_medium=banner&utm_content=E-Insult&utm_campaign=TBTGFI-fall Click on e-insults (i) Pick the insult you want D2 Kenny to read (ii) Send in your buddy's name, and D2 Kenny will...

Two Minnesota duffers have created a brand of golf merchandise that brings self-deprecating whimsy to a sport that has humbled even mighty pros. Unlike marketers whose balls, shirts and hats try to associate the buyer with a golf hero, a legendary course or top-flight performance, the new BogeyPro...

using chuck norris jokes as a template. ______________________________________________________ -according to wikipedia, the single greatest cause of land erosion is Tiger Woods' pitching wedge. -greenpeace has tried to assassinate Tiger Woods on many occasions; but Stevie...

Buzz Killington: Now, here's a fellow attempting to ride a bicycle. But he's having some trouble, isn't he? And do you know why? Peter: (Sighs) Why? Buzz Killington: Because he's a Scot! (laughs) Now, who here likes a good story about a bridge? Buzz Killington: I've quite a mastery...